Hey! This is my first draft for my UPenn supplement essay. I'd appreciate any feedback whatsoever concerning content and any suggestions/corrections. Thanks so much.
Considering both the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying and the unique aspects of the University of Pennsylvania, what do you hope to learn from and contribute to the Penn community? (Please answer in one page, approximately 500 words.)
I can confidently admit that as a child, most of my sleepless nights are owed to my time spent behind a computer, playing the ever so addictive game of "Sims". Ironically, I was not losing sleep from living my dreams through the computerized figures I'd created. Even better. I spent hours and days simply building houses. Constructing them from scratch, decorating them, painting them -you'd say I was born an architect!
I've always wanted to enter a field that is related to the art of building and construction. However, being the indecisive person that I am has not allowed me to settle down in one particular direction. In my mind, I've been an urban planner one day and a landscape architect the next. This is why I was greatly drawn towards Penn's College of Arts and Sciences which, through its emphasis on interdisciplinary studies, I will be able to satisfy my thirst for creative and intellectual knowledge in different corners of the field of architecture. I see myself aiming for a degree in architecture while concurrently working towards one in engineering.
I am confident that Penn's repute for its academic rigor will ensure that I am in an environment that will encourage me to work up to my full potential and furthermore expose me to a wide range of opportunities to further expand my intellectual development. With Penn's top research facilities I hope to gain maximum knowledge to take back with me and help develop my home country of Mali, particularly in terms of technological advancement and housing needs. Through student-driven organizations such as Habitat For Humanity and Student Ambassadors of the World (S.A.W) I will be able to transmit the knowledge learnt on campus to help disadvantaged surrounding communities thrive. My time spent in South Africa greatly acquainted me with the gravity of the HIV/AIDS epidemic and through the Penn AIDS Awareness organization I hope to join other students in raising awareness and in doing everything in my power to stop the spread of the disease.
Since 1740, Penn has produced some of the world's most respected business people, politicians, educators, award winners as well as architects. I too, want to be a part of this elite. I too, want to make a difference and employ my different experiences I learnt from growing up to add to Penn's commitment to diversity. Its excellent study abroad programs are certain to allow me to impart my skills learnt in the classroom to better the world community. The variety of facilities and social activities will also be beneficial for my social and physical development, such as the Penn Outdoors Club and Climbing Wall, which I would enjoy partaking in. Penn represents everything I look for in my quest for a holistic education, that incorporates an interactive and both theoretical and practical approach to teaching, and I desire to be a part of it.
Even better., I spent hours and days simply building houses.
Constructing them from scratch, decorating them, painting them -.you'dI guess you could say I was born an architect!
I seeenvision myself aiming for a degree in architecture while concurrently working towards one in engineering.
environment that will encourage me to work up to my full potential
However, being the indecisive person
full potential and furthermore expose me to
With Penn's top research facilities, I hope
Excellent essay. You've obviously done your research.
