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"Every time I think of my grandmother" - Short Answer + Personal Essay

bbish520 8 / 30  
Dec 28, 2010   #1
Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (150 words or fewer, 1000 character maximum).

Whether helping the kids with their homework or playing with them in the park, being in the after school program has helped me learn a lot. Not only did it help bring back memories from my childhood, I also learn the correctness of a quote: "patience is a virtue". Being with the children everyday afterschool can be a little hard but through this experience I tested my patience. Going from calculus to kindergarten's math really made a hit to my patience. It's so easy to add and subtract for me but it takes a great deal of time to explain it to a child who is barely five years old. Patience is truly a trait that shows high moral standards. Even though I still have many hardships to go through, I'm sure that with the practice of patience, I'll be able to overcome them all.

Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.

Every time I think of my grandmother I feel like I could have expressed my love toward her more but now, unfortunately, it is too late. October of 2008 was the worst month for me. It was one of the darkest moments of my life. Not only did I lose a grandmother that day, I also lost a part of me. When my mom called from Hong Kong to tell me about the news I couldn't believe it. My strong, amicable grandmother had passed away and thankfully it was a no-pain death.

In 1993, my parents decided to immigrate to Puerto Rico for a better life, and I, only being one year old, was left with my grandmother and aunt. I wouldn't ask for anyone else to raise me because these two women were there for me all the time. They both were moms to me. My grandmother, only 47 years old at that time, hadn't retired yet. Needing to work, she had to leave me with a babysitter but she made sure that I was well taken care of. On weekends she, along with my aunt, would take me to theme parks, beach, camping and etc.

When I was three years old, my mom decided for me to go to Puerto Rico to stay with her. My grandmother, together with my grandfather and aunt, came with me to check out the place and see if it was any good for me. After three weeks my grandmother, my grandfather and my aunt had to leave. I was left with my parents. Although I can't remember it well, my parents told me that I would cry day and night asking for my grandmother, asking where she was and why she had to be so cruel and leave me here. My mom was heartbroken. I wouldn't pay attention to anything she said. When my grandmother called, I would be screaming my head off for her to come back and get me. I was so sad that I lose ten pounds in only one month. My grandmother, hearing this news, would tell me that if I behaved then she would come visit me soon. Being the eager child that I was I hung onto every word she said; I started eating again, went to nursery school and behaved like a perfect child would.

After two years, when I was five, I was enchanted to see my grandmother's pumped up, unwrinkled face. She, who barely topped five feet, picked me up and showered me with her loving kisses. That moment was one of my happiest childhood memories. When I think about her, the first thing that comes to my mind is her cooking. There is no one in this whole wide world who cooks better than she in my opinion. Her love for food makes what she cooks tastier. She would spend around 3 hours daily preparing supper for us. No matter what she cooked, from seafood to just plain salad, it tasted as if it came from a five star restaurant to me.

One of her uniqueness was her love for music. She got her own iPod, which she listened to when she is walking in the park as a form of exercise. She would want the newest songs along with oldies that she liked. My grandmother would even ask me to teach her how to use the computer for her to download her own music.

I've done many things in my life that I regret. The one thing that I regret the most was when she had to return to Hong Kong to treat cancer I didn't want to talk to her. I was afraid, I was afraid that I would break down while talking to her, I wanted her to know that I was strong but I really wasn't. I wanted her to be strong, I didn't want her to be discouraged but now I regret it deeply. I should have talked to her because then I could express my love but I, stupid me, was afraid, afraid that I would lose her...

I couldn't have asked for a greater grandmother because she, who is in my heart forever, was the best. I will always remember her lovely, amicable face. She, who would cook me whatever I wanted to eat, who woke up every morning to prepare my breakfast and my lunch of the day, and who would express her everlasting love for me constantly. She is the person who made me who I am today. I'll never forget about her. No matter where she is, I know that she is looking out for me, blessing me every moment with her love.

Please critic as brutal as you can. I really want to better this essay and short answer! thanks!!
sidbush 3 / 26  
Dec 28, 2010   #2
Ibut alsoi have learned[quote=bbish520]I still must facehave many hardships to go through [quote=bbish520]darkest momentstimesof in[quote=bbish520] it was a no-pain death.

pain free

Good Essays!
MoonCl0ud 3 / 9  
Dec 30, 2010   #3
You might want to cut back on describing your grandmother. I feel that you should expand more about what she meant to you, how she influenced you (beyond pushing you to be a good child etc), and especially expand on what you learned about not cherishing the one you love enough.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jan 12, 2011   #4
...Being with the children everyday after school (2 words ) can be a little hard, but through this experience I tested my patience. Going from calculus to kindergarten 's kindergarten math really made a hit to challenged my patience.

The second essay has an incredibly well written introduction paragraph. At the end of that paragraph, you should give a sentence that succinctly tells the reader why she influenced you so much, and that way the reader will know the message of the essay while reading the story.

ivantav 2 / 3  
Jan 12, 2011   #5
Focus more on the influence and less in your loss.
I really felt the emotion, if that counts.
madilla 2 / 12  
Mar 31, 2011   #6
I lost my grandmother that year too! very nice essay.

I think you should re word the 4th paragraph maybe saying something like this ..

One of the regrets I seem to hang on to is avoiding her upon returning to Hong Kong to cure her illness.
Being afraid of tears running down my face, i kept quiet, knowing I was not strong enough to handle the

I hope that helps :)

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