Virginia Tech has many characteristics that make it a very favorable school, including accommodations that fit my needs as a prospective student. The university has numerous bachelors and masters degree programs, which provides students with an immense number of opportunities. In addition to the large amount of educational benefits on campus, there are also various off campus facilities and several chances for students to study abroad. This is appealing since I am interested in possibly studying abroad in the future. The numerous athletics offered brings about camaraderie among students that can be seen at any sporting event. It is desirable to be a part of the Hokie Nation after witnessing the bond athletics brings among the students. In addition to the large variety of varsity sports, there are many intramural sports offered on campus. Because I played volleyball in high school, I am interested in possibly playing on an intramural volleyball team as a student at Virginia Tech. The 16:1 student to faculty ratio will make the educational experience very beneficial, as there will be plenty of staff attention in the classroom. Lastly, the location of the campus is ideal. Blacksburg is a pleasant college town that has a low crime rate and a beautiful appearance. It is the perfect size town with many businesses and social opportunities, as well as on and off campus housing. Virginia Tech is my dream school for countless reasons and I would be honored to admitted to such a reputable university.
Virginia Tech has all the characteristics that make it a very favorable school
including accommodations that fit my needs as a prospective student. -----you might want to include this later in your answer
The numerous athletics offered brings about camaraderie among students that can be seen at any sporting event. ------you might want to rephrase this
Virginia Tech is my dream school for countless reasons ------ above reasons
----over all the reply seems good. Also i do not know if you are plaaning to attent virginia tech for sports , the reply seems fine, however if you are not, i suggest you put in a few more content on how VT is gonna help you on the education front.
best of luck :)
, which provides provide students with an immense number of opportunities. ---your way actually is not necessarily wrong, depending on what is doing the providing in the sentence as you intend it, but in order to avoid looking likt you might have poor grammar you can just add the s.
In addition to the (large amount of educational benefits--this is a very cumbersome way to say something that is really simple. Maybe you can find a more creative way to express this idea) on campus, there are ...
also various off campus facilities ...at any sporting event. All this stuff... it is stuff you could say about any school. You should make the essay specific to this school.
It is desirable to be a part of the Hokie Nation after witnessing the bond athletics brings among the students. ---this is better, because it is meaningful and focused on the school.
In addition to the large variety of varsity sports, there are many intramural sports offered on campus. All colleges have this stuff..
I think you should take out all details that could be said about any college, and replace them with discussion of your specific career plan, and your goals, etc. Who are your favorite academic writers and professors? What areas of specialization appeal to you? Get specific with your plan so that you can discuss the school in relation to your plan.
:-)
Because I played volleyball in high school, I am interested in possibly playing on an intramural volleyball team as a student at Virginia Tech. The 16:1 student to faculty ratio will make the educational experience very beneficial, as there will be plenty of staff attention in the classroom. All this "brochure" stuff is unhelpful.
Lastly, the location of the campus is ideal. The most important thing to do is develop your plan, your DETAILED plan for your future, and revise so that it is reflected in the essay.
