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"top ten students of Physics, Chemistry and Advanced Mathematics II" - my statement


harlow66 1 / 1  
Dec 25, 2010   #1
Filling university application form, below are instructions for filling the personal statement:

Short written submission - Sub section
Fields required:
2,000 character field for a short written submission

Applicants may wish to prepare their written submission separately prior submitting an application. You may copy and paste your preprepared written submission into the text box.

Applicants are encouraged to summarize (or provide in point form) instead of writing a prolonged essay.

Submissions which highlight exceptional talents contributing to our student talent mix may be taken into consideration.


I am not sure if I am writing what the University wants to see, I will be glad for any guidance, correction, suggestions. Here's my work:

I was a member of Academic Research Society, a society which trains potential students to participate in science and mathematics competitions. Below are the honors I won:

2010
National Physics Competition: Team Champion, Individual 2nd runner-up
National Mathematics Olympiad: Team Champion
National Science and Mathematics Competition for Malaysian Independent Chinese High Schools: Team Champion, Individual Second Prize, First Prize in Chemistry, Second Prize in Mathematics.
Australian Mathematics Competition: Higher Distinction
Nanyang Concept Test in Physics: Distinction
National Chemistry Quiz: Distinction
Hua Lo Keng Mathematics Competition: Team Champion

2009
National Physics Competition: Silver Certificate
National Chemistry Quiz: Distinction

2008
Singapore Mathematical Olympiad: Bronze Award

In UEC 2010, I am one of the top ten students of Physics, Chemistry and Advanced Mathematics II. I was an active committee member of my society. I was elected as General Secretary in 2010, a position which requires decent leadership and interpersonal skills. I took part in a Leadership Camp held by the Co-Curriculum Department. I represented my school in the 6th MICSS Science Camp. I volunteered to be the forum chairman in Malay Language Oral Test of my school. I participated in Jogathon ChongHwa, a fundraising activity of my school. I was awarded the Outstanding Student Prize and The All-round Student Award in 2010.

Physics graduates are in great demand, both in educating the coming generations and deepening our understanding of the nature. I may not be as gifted as Albert Einstein, but I believe with my perseverance and endeavor, I can thrive and later contribute to the community either by teaching or researching. NUS is renowned for its outstanding engineering courses. As engineering involves applications of Science laws primarily in Physics, I can also provide consultations and suggestions to further improve your engineering excellence if I am given the chance.

3 chars remaining. ( ie 1997 chars including spaces)

p/s: NUS is the abbreviation of National University of Singapore
UEC is the abbreviation of Unified Examinations Certificate

Thanks for your concern :)
thindust 1 / 6  
Dec 25, 2010   #2
I believe what NUS is looking for is an essay-form statement rather than a resume. Take a look around the application form (as I am not quite familiar with NUS' international application forms) if they have another area for extracurriculars/achievements/resume-style input field. What they are seeking is much like what you have at the bottom half of your write-up to elaborate on each of them rather than list them.

Physics graduates are in great demand, both inas Physics play an instrumental role in educating the coming generations (about what?) and deepening our understanding of the nature. I may not be as gifted as Albert Einstein, but I believe with my perseverance and (do you mean in endeavor?) endeavor, I can thrive and later contribute to the community either bythrough teaching or researching . NUS is renowned for its outstanding engineering courses.

As engineering involves applications of Science laws primarily in Physics, I can also provide consultations and suggestions to further improve your engineering excellence if I am given the chance.

^ I am not too sure what this means actually, the 2 parts of the sentence does not seem to link.
OP harlow66 1 / 1  
Dec 25, 2010   #3
Thanks for ur attention =)

I am applying for physics, and are trying to tell other than teaching and research, I can also contribute to engineering fields, because engineering involves manipulation of scientific knowledge.

P/S : I appreciate and expect for more suggestions


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