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UT Essay Topic C: Coloring in my Character


kibawa 1 / 2  
Nov 30, 2015   #1
I know this is really last minute but to be honest this essay is last minute because my old one was atrocious and stressing me out, so I whipped this up. I really need help with these intros and conclusions; Thanks for any feedback!!

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Prompt: Considering your lifetime goals, discuss how your current and future academic and extracurricular activities might help you achieve your goals.

During my entire academic career, from the playfulness of elementary school to the rigorousness of high school, growth has followed me. Molded by multiple outside factors and experiences, my growth led me to becoming the capable person I am today. A primary factor in facilitating this growth was drawing. As I continued through my life, I left behind a paper trail of doodles, scribbles, and art. Coinciding my physical growth was my increasingly carnivorous craving for that pencil to paper interaction. Drawing enveloped me; I learned valuable lessons, with broad application ranging from academics to life in general.

My talent in drawing was never a single, continuous growth. It increased, steeply decreased, did a loop or two, and went in all which ways. While drawing sticks close to me, I never had the chance to apply it professionally. I placed my academics in priority, choosing a plethora of APs, leaving little room for an advanced art class. I'm on my own. Through a series of skepticism and frustration, I'm able to conclude that my best work comes from actual self discipline. Staying in my comfort zone of the margins of graded papers doodling mindlessly was fun, yet unfruitful. When I put forth my best effort to research, use real models, think of real bone structure, the results are astounding. Drawing became yet another study, another discipline, but unlike my college credit classes, bore two sides of the same coin. While it became at time arduous and exasperating, it also relaxed me. On the outside, it looks like I'm simply moving my pencil back and forth and up and down a piece of paper. However, when I begin to produce something of real quality, I blossom, dancing inside my paracosm. Projecting myself onto the characters on the page, I feel emotionally connected to the image, making my pride all the sweeter! The only way this has been achieved in all its occurrences is through vigorous endeavor, a type of enterprise I apply in all areas of my life.

When I entered middle school, parents gifted me with a digital Wacom drawing tablet that allows me to draw in art programs on the computer. Initially, I hated it. The complexity intimidated me. The technology frustrated me. Instead of opening my eyes to this new realm of art, I pushed the tablet aside, using a shallow excuse of it being unnatural. After some time and maturation, I came back to the tablet to try again. The new realm had been opened. My craving for knowledge awakened once again. The technicalities of the tablet intertwined with the specifies of the art towered over me- my biggest challenge. I grew accustomed to the tablet, and discovered new ways to create things nearly every time I opened my program. My art became more colorful, more concrete, more qualitative. It felt more alive. Through the use of my tablet, the web of art became more entangled. New areas of interest opened up, especially with the use of colors. What I thought to be a minor detail actually is a multiplex subject, spanning farther than I ever imagined. It was then I learned about not only the reward of trying new things, but the depth of complexity of everyday life. This revelation in my art helped me conclude that in all areas of life, academic or otherwise, the mechanisms are far more elaborate than initially perceived.

Art isn't just a hobby. From scrawling to doodling to pencil drawing to digitally painting, my skill grew alongside me. Like a silent friend, supporting me, challenging me, shaping me into a wiser person. Because of my experience as an artist, I saw the importance of that 110%, I'm less afraid to engage in a new environment, and I understand the intricacy of a specific subject. Like how I continue to prosper, so will my skills. As long as I adhere these principals and continue on my path, I'll become an exemplary individual who understands plight and difficulty, no matter what field I embark.

Gabygabbs15 2 / 2  
Nov 30, 2015   #2
This is a well written essay about your passion for art, but you need to explain how art is related to your lifetime goals and what activities are contributing to achieve this goal. The structure of your essay is great just a bit off topic. Don't get so involved with your essay that you forget about your prompt!

Best of luck!
OP kibawa 1 / 2  
Dec 1, 2015   #3
I feel like lifetime goals is a hard thing to pinpoint.. I want to be an optometrist of that helps haha. At first I described multiple aspects about myself but then decided to focus in on one. Do you think i need to change the essay entirely?
justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Dec 1, 2015   #4
Alisha, I'd like to share my thoughts in your essay.
I will work on the parts that you are having quiet a doubt with.

Introduction
- During( you can't say during your entire career because we are talking about the entirety of your academic years )
- M y entire academic career,
- from the playfulness of elementary school to the rigorousness of high school,
- MoldedHoned by multiple outside factors and experiences,
- mythis growth led me to becoming the capable person I am today.
-As I continued through my lifemoved on ,
-CoincidingWith my physical growth was mycomes an increasingly
- carnivorousmomentous craving for that pencil to and paper interaction.
- Drawing enveloped me;engulfed me and I learned valuable lessons,

I believe the corrections above made a difference in your introduction, what I did was re - structure the sentences and put together
a set of strong words that created an impact in this part of the essay.

I'll get back to you for the conclusion.
OP kibawa 1 / 2  
Dec 1, 2015   #5
thank you so much!! I really struggle with intros so this helps a lot!
justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Dec 1, 2015   #6
That's good to hear that we were able to help, so Alisha, below are my remarks for the conclusive part of the essay.

Conclusion
- drawing to digitally painting,
- my skillsgrew alongside meimproved with time .
- Because of my experience( we have already established that you are an artist)
- A s an artist,
- I saw the importance of that 110%,( I'm quiet puzzled here, importance of what? )
- I'm lessNow, I'm not afraid to engage in a new environment,
- and I understand the intricacy of a specific subject. Ll ike how I continue to prosper, so will my skills.
- As long as I adhere to mythese principalsprinciples and continue on my path,
- I'll become an exemplary individual who understands plight and difficulty, no matter whatregardless of the field I embark.

There you have it Alisha, this part of your essay is indeed confusing and as you can see, there's a lot of work to be done.

One thing with you is that, you have an idea on what to write, you just don't know how to incorporate these ideas into your

paragraphs and make it a strong essay.

I hope my remarks helped.


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