Could anyone point out how to improve my writting? Thanks!
TOPIC: ISSUE191 - "Education should be equally devoted to enriching the personal lives of students and to training students to be productive workers."
WORDS: 412
The Role of Education
To the question of whether education should equally emphasis on enriching the personal lives of students and to offering job-oriented lessons, I hold the opinion that the goals of different education institutions are various from one and other. For the level of university education, I think enriching the personal lives should take the priority.
To begin with, enriching personal lives and training students to be productive workers are not multiple exclusive. Without a thoughtful value system, students can not determine whether the goal they pursuing are ethical and moral acceptable. It is possible what they are doing is harmful to the society. In fact, enriching the personal lives is making preparation for them to be a good worker.
In addition, another reason why university education should give priority to enriching the personal lives of students is that the skills the society need are changing more and more quickly. It is waste of resource for the university to teach the students the knowledge they will never use in the rest of live. For example, computer science students learn to work under DOS system, however, several years later, it is the world of Windows. So that, university should efficiently use the time to teach the students the basic knowledge, the attitude toward life, which they can quickly adapt themselves in the quickly changed modern society.
Moreover, the education for personal lives plays an important role in the work life after their graduation. The lessons about philosophy, art, sociology, and politics which broad the students' mind, and helps them better understand, appreciate, and cooperate with others. They will be more tolerant to different viewpoints and easier communicate with others. These are also the important qualities for a productive worker. They will safe time for the misunderstanding, and follow the direction of their leaders.
However, other level education may have other focuses. For college, the most important goal is to train the students to efficient workers. For high school, the study habit and interpersonal communicate skill is emphasized. Also, some spiritual and religion education is better lead by the family and the church.
In conclusion, in university level, it is more significant to enrich the personal lives of students than providing them the skill to find a job. A thoughtful value system could help student set up a appropriate goal in their career, and able them adaptable in the fast changing world. And the liberal lesson also made them good at communicate and cooperate with others.To the question of whether education should equally emphasize enriching the personal lives of students and job-oriented lessons, I hold the opinion that the goals of different education institutions are different from one and other. ----please look at the small changes I made here, and practice typing the correct way.
To begin with, enriching personal lives and training students to be productive workers are not mutually exclusive.
In fact, enriching the personal lives of students prepares them to be good workers.---- keep plural with plural.
Again, plural:
It is waste of resources for the university to teach the students the knowledge they will never use in the rest of their lives.
Moreover, the education for personal lives plays an important role in the work life after their graduation. The lessons about philosophy, art, sociology, and politics which broaden the students' minds , and helps them better understand, appreciate, and cooperate with others. They will be more tolerant to different viewpoints and more easily communicate with others. These are also the important qualities for a productive worker.
Practice typing the sentences and speaking them the correct way. Take this one for example:
They will save time by preventing misunderstanding and following the direction of their leaders.
:-)
