I'm looking to apply to George Washington University, American University, and Northeastern University for this upcoming Fall 2014, and thought there maybe a few people out there that could review my essay!
Much Appreciated!
Prompt: Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve. (250-650 words)
"Hey Bobby, I have a question."
"What's up?" he replied, re-adjusting his microscope.
"I'm not sure whether or not I should trace this," I said as I zoomed into the segment of brain I was referring to.
"Oh, that's just a really big synapse", he explained while he squinted and continued investigating the dark line I was pointing to on the computer screen, "If you keep tracing the vesicles like you've been doing, then I'll be able to begin understanding why certain synapses like this one are so big. So keep it up". He turned his attention back to his microscope as somebody from the other side of the lab called out, "Bobby are you busy?"
This was my time in Jeff Litchman's lab at Harvard University in a nutshell, sitting behind a computer tracing tiny aspects of neurons (usually the vesicles). I began interning in the lab during April of my senior year, and continued into the following summer. When I wasn't tracing, I was learning about the incredibly complex wiring structure of the brain, and what processes our lab was using to scan it at such high resolutions. I spent hot summer days that were normally idled away by the pool, in the heart of Harvard Square contributing to groundbreaking neurological research. It was during my time as a volunteer in Jeff Lichtman's Lab, that I realized how critical a diligent work ethic was to achieving anything: whether that's tracing the human brain, or being an engaged student in your school's Psychology program.
I entered Suffolk University with this mentality and set two goals for myself: to get involved in the psychology department and to make the Dean's List. I signed myself up for challenging courses that lured my curiosity, and began working as a research assistant in Suffolk's New England A.C.T. Institution and Early Childhood Research Clinic directed by Dr. Coyne, where I learned about different types of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Later on in the semester two students from the lab and I wrote a research paper on how Cognitive Fusion and Avoidance affects certain student's academic success, and submitted it to the Eastern Psychological Association. The paper was accepted, and we presented it at their annual conference in March. Additionally, I ended the first semester with a cumulative GPA of 3.57 and successfully landed myself on the Dean's Honor list. I have also signed myself up for both a 400 and 300 level course in an attempt to challenge myself more second semester.
While my experiences here at Suffolk have been constructive for me, I am ready to use them as the foundation for something new. My reason for transferring derives from my desire to study aspects of psychology and neuroscience that are not offered here at Suffolk. I am eager to use the skills I have acquired during my time studying in Boston's historic "Beacon Hill" neighborhood, to explore a more comprehensive brain sciences department, and take full advantage of the different research opportunities on campus. As my transcript shows, I have done well at Suffolk, and I am convinced that with enough hard work I can meet the academic challenges of your university.
Keyoon10
I think you have done a marvelous job and have tried your best to cover the most of aspects. However, I would like to suggest if you could put more emphasis reasons what made you to think of transfer? Secondly, had batter if you can further elaborate your expectations on subjects you have identified e.g. psychology and neuroscience. Why these two subjects? how you will be able to accomplish it?
