What are your thoughts on this please? Any suggestions? Do you think the content is well written? Thank you for your assistance.
For almost one hundred years, the Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University. Vires signifies strength of all kinds - moral, physical, and intellectual; Artes alludes to the beauty of intellectual pursuits as exemplified in skill, craft, or art; and Mores refers to character, custom, or tradition. Describe how one or more of the values embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life.
'Tradition' is defined as "an inherited, established, or customary pattern of thought, action, or behavior (as a religious practice or a social custom)". There are many traditions throughout the entire world, and many are unheard of here in the U.S. Traditions of presidents serving four year terms and traditions of excellence among men are just to name a few. Florida State University has many traditions that are well known. Quite possibly the most famous tradition of Florida State University is of Osceola riding out on Renegade to boost school spirit before every football game. This fine tradition was started in 1978 and continues on today.
There are also traditions which I can relate to as a student. Florida State University, as well as my high school, was founded in the 19th century. Both schools have a tradition of excellence in education and are both recognized as premier schools in Florida. Until 1947 Florida State University was known as Florida College for Women. The school was an all women school until the transition in 1947 when the name also switched to Florida State University. Jesuit High School has a tradition since its creation in 1899 that is still around today. Jesuit High School is an all boys school, opposite to an all female school like Florida State University was at one point. However, the two schools had a unique tradition that only one gender was able to attend either school. Both schools have a tradition of excellence in not only academics but sports as well. Florida State University is currently one of the best track and field schools in the nation.
Jesuit High School also has some of the best runners in the nation for their age group and events. Also, Jesuit has a long lasting tradition to have graduates accepted into the Florida State University. Many of these students do accept to go to there and have great careers while at the school.
Also new traditions are being created at both schools every year. These traditions are what make up the schools. Both schools have unique traditions, many they share together mainly in excellence in a variety of categories.
I'm not really sure if your essay answers the prompt. You define tradition very nicely and illustrate examples of tradition, but the only time you link tradition to your life is through the history of your high school. The admissions board is looking for something a bit more thorough, something that has directly impacted your life. Don't get me wrong; your essay is good, but I don't think it's exactly what they are looking for.
