'The Tramp - Charlie Chaplin' - Common App Essay #4 Character in fiction

Hi, I'm Jess and I hope to apply to Northwestern University and Stanford possibly with this essay. It's about my hero and favorite director/actor. Any feedback is much appreciated!

A small, disheveled man with a petty derby hat, a toothbrush moustache, excessively baggy trousers, a two-size too small coat, an enormously shabby pair of shoes, and a bamboo cane for faux sophistication does not exude the idea of one to admire nor does he possess the qualities of a classic hero or role model. However, it is Charlie Chaplin's character The Tramp that I find more interesting and respectable than any other character or figure. In a flurry of inspiration, Charlie Chaplin initially describes his character: "You know this fellow is many-sided, a tramp, a gentleman, a poet, a dreamer, a lonely fellow, always hopeful of romance and adventure. He would have you believe he is a scientist, a musician, a duke, a polo player. However, he is not above picking up cigarette butts or robbing a baby of its candy. And, of course, if the occasion warrants it, he will kick a lady in the rear -- but only in extreme anger!" Famous for his innocent mischief, unorthodox athleticism, and strange chivalry, The Tramp can appeal to your sympathy, humor, and morality all in one silent, amusing scene, and I often identify with this not-so-heroic character because he exudes an eloquent flair that continually radiates optimism of no other kind. No matter how unfortunate his situation may be, he always manages to look forward and move on with a wave of his gawky cane and a kick in his cheerful strut.

The Tramp does not possess qualities that are commended by society for he often steals, cheats, or escapes from situations in order to survive. In the movie, The Kid, for example, The Tramp and his adopted son John stir up a questionable business as a window repair team in which John casually breaks windows while The Tramp repairs them on the go. It is shoddy, yet clever, but The Tramp still captures your admiration by providing sufficient care to John and risking his life to retrieve him when he is taken.

The Tramp, although unorthodox and unusual, holds a strong optimism and character that appeals to me. In Modern Times, The Tramp meets incessant misfortune in the harsh economic and societal world based on The Great Depression age; first suffering from the industrial trauma, then ending up in prison for an awful mix-up, to searching endlessly for work to support his love and dream of owning a house. However, throughout the film, there is never a sense of hopelessness from The Tramp even after losing his job multiple times and being sent to jail numerously. In the end, while his friend and love is on the verge of submission, The Tramp cries, "Buck up - never say die. We'll get along," to end the movie on a positive message with an underlying note of encouragement to the world. I relate to his optimism because it simply amazes me how carefree and fun The Tramp makes his life even amidst such hardships and difficulties; I feel that I can learn more from watching him cleverly slip away from the clutches of an angry policeman than from the archetypal hero saving an entire civilization single-handedly.

I wish you woud elaborate more on how Chaplin influences you as a person. I feel that you simply talk about the actor himself and then give yourself hardly any spotlight. However, this essay does have the potential to be very good.

I love how you dissect the character in your essay. I do agree that you should take more time to elaborate on how the character truly relates to you as a person; or how it has influenced you.

Honestly?

The writing feels forced, like you wrote it with a dictionary by your side.

Some of your word choices are just awkward...I can't point to specific examples but I think it is important for you to consider the smoothness of the writing.

There are just too many 'big' words (not that we don't know the meaning of the words, but simply that a simpler word could be used) that are not necessary for the story development.

Best of luck!

Totally agree with Loveyelledno,you have to talk more about yourself,instead of just the tramp,how you relate to it.

This is a good essay. But make sure that your personality and character are revealed. Throughout the essay,you discuss just about the person who has influenced you (Mr.Charlie Chaplin), but it does not reflect your personality and character. Do not digress from the topic. Do not use the dictionary -- use your own vocabulary. They can tell when you have used it. They want a simple essay; not in the context of content but that of the word use.

Good Luck.

I personally think this is a very good essay ;]

but,
there are some necessary changes that have to be made
in order to make it better.

Remember that the reader(s) in college won't spend enough
time to read each and every essays they get.

I think the very first sentence should be more interesting
so it could attract the reader's attention instead of causing them to lose focus.

Try to be very concise in the first sentence of the paragraph.
(This is what my English teacher told me;;)

I hope you would get the best results
good luck. :)

Thanks to all. :]

Yeah, now I realize that it's not a very personal essay and that it's more about Chaplin than it is about me. I don't really like writing about myself. Haha, I hope I can get over that so I can get into college. d:

And thank you guys for being honest. I'll work on it with suggestions in mind. It'll probably be completely revamped, actually.