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Transfer Application to University of Michigan: What unique qualities attract you to this school?


jessaw 1 / -  
Jul 6, 2016   #1
Essay #2 (Required for all applicants. 500 words maximum.) TRANSFER APPLICANTS
Describe the unique qualities that attract you to the specific undergraduate College or School to which you are applying at the University of Michigan. How would that curriculum support your interests?

The University of Michigan is truly one of a kind. While researching for the best programs in ecology, I stumbled upon an amazing opportunity. I discovered a program that actually fit what I was searching for. It seemed almost impossible that I would be able to obtain a degree that I could say I have earned and am proud of as well as properly trained to make an impact in the world. To explain, my passion and future goals consist of saving the planet and advocating for a healthier ecosystem for generations to come. As many other colleges and universities may pose similar degrees as environmental studies, I am not as interested in being a park ranger as I am understanding the biology of the world and how we reached this point in history and how to fix and improve it. With that said, the College of Literature, Science, and Arts appears to be the program calling my name.

Within the College of Literature, Science, and Arts, the program of Ecology & Evolutionary Biology inspires students to actually want to learn as well as promoting real-life situations for students to think critically. When visiting an informational tour earlier this year, I was able to see the many opportunities for students. One main focus the tour had was to inform us about the many research facilities. Our tour guide stressed the fact that this is one of the top research universities. This information alone stuck with me. Since then, I have been

The ability to develop research and have the tools accessible puts the students here at an advantage to pursue their own wonders. To be in a position where I can learn my own interests at my leisure and develop a hypothesis and maybe even research it in the field is an incredible chance that I can barely fathom.

Since I am a transfer student, I have been doing my own intricate researching. What I have found is an amazing chance to be a part of an advanced institution. One that goes above and beyond teaching students who want to make an impact. To join this community of like-minded individuals is exactly what I am searching for. No longer do I want to be in a classroom with students who just want to get a degree and leave. At the University of Michigan, I can be in a classroom full of eager students who are passionate about the environment. Students are one step ahead of other college-graduates.

ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Jul 8, 2016   #2
Hi Jess, welcome to EssayForum :) Before moving on to my feedback, I would like to remind you that you need to give at least 1 space (1 enter) for each paragraph to ease the reader to read or check your essay. However, I hope you can follow through the feedback below.

1st paragraph:
- I am not as interested in being a park ranger as I am understandinglearning the biology of the world... (understanding is not a verb)

- WithT hat said, the College of Literature, Science, and Arts appears to be the program whichcallingcalls my name.

2nd paragraph:
- WithinIn the College of Literature, Science, and Arts, the program of Ecology & Evolutionary Biology inspires students to actually want to learn as well as promoting real-life situations for students to think critically. (somehow, "actually" conveys negative sense)

- ...I was able to see the many opportunities for students.
- ...inform us about the many research facilities.
- This information alone stuck with me. Since then, I have been (you have been what? mind the sentence structure, how about this:This information has been stuck with me since that memorable tour)

4th paragraph:
- This is the one that goes above and beyond teaching students who want to make an impact. (fragment, this sentence was missing subject and verb)

Overall, the development of ideas in this essay is well-written. You only need to follow my feedback above to strengthen your essay structure. Good luck for that :)


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