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UC transfer personal: I decided to go to the Phillippines, leaving my hometown, Korea


kykale 1 / 2  
Nov 28, 2012   #1
2. Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?

I just wrote about the story in the Phlippines. how you think about this essay? any advice or critique will be very much appreciated! and please help me with grammars too!

In April 2007, I, 15, decided to go to the Phillippines, leaving my hometown, Korea. The Philippines is known as the best country where you can learn English along with low prices. Moreover, Korean educational system prioritizes acquisition of English skill in the society. My parents wanted me to learn English systematically.

In early days in the Philippines, I had almost zero English knowledge, so it was almost impossible to communicate with classmates or residents. The dictionary was the only way for comprehension in the class and I felt so lonely since all I could say was "Hi" or "How are you?" Even in school, It was usual for me to read books in the corner. More and more, my oath, to reduce talking to Koreans but give my best on studying English, faded away. Hanging out with Korean friends became my happiest moment meanwhile homework, and quizzes were left blank. After 5 months from beginning of the semester, the result of midterm revealed. The result? It was frightful. English was F, math C, science D, and other subjects were also marked with C or B. These came as a shock to me, regretting the past of me; however, it was no use crying over spilt milk.

From then, I began to manage the majority of my time for the next final while trying to actively join school activities to get involved in the classroom despite lack of English skills, ten hours each week in participating voluntary librarian, exercised 15 hours each week for theater group. I welcomed opportunities where I can experience more and learn English with people. Furthermore, I trained myself for better English knowledge; reviewing phrases, memorizing vocabularies, and watching CNN. I pushed myself harder and harder to prevent the repetition of feeling regret, and it eventually drained me physically and mentally. Here is my typical day I had gone through:

6:00-6:30 Breakfast
6:30-7:30 Previewing vocabulary
8:00-4:00 School
4:00-5:30 Library volunteer
5:30-6:00 Dinner
6:00-8:00 acting practice
8:00-10:00 Study, practice
When there was an exam or contest(Even though I could not join as a foreign student), the study time or assisting contestants in acting club replaced days but I still maintained English and subject reviews at night. There was no enough time to sleep during those days as library assistant and acting practices never ceased.

As time passed, I was able to incredibly improve all of my grades. Especially, I was excited about the fact that I could give a fine showing in English, B, in 2 years. On the other hand, I was not content with the past activities and studies. I always looked forward to be an acknowledged student indeed. On graduation day, the president awarded me "Student Improvement Award" with honor, given to a student who showed a great improvement in grades and participation in the school. I am proud not of any accomplishment, school activities or academic achievement during 2 years of my high school in the Philippines, but I was able to acquire constant time management, endurance, and advanced socialization in the society. To be most important, I took one step ahead to stand independently, and endure (adverb) --> dont know what would be the best adverb to add.. any recommendation?
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Nov 28, 2012   #2
In April 2007, I, 15, decided to go to the Phillippines, leaving my hometown, Korea. The Philippines is known as the best country where you can learn English along with low prices. Moreover, Korean educational system prioritizes acquisition of English skill in the society. My parents wanted me to learn English systematically.

At the age of fifteen I left my homeland, Korea to study in the Phillippines, the best country, where you can learn Enlgish very systematically at an affordable cost; that is what my parents believed.

In early days in the Philippines, I had almost zero English knowledge, so it was almost impossible to communicate with classmates or residents. The dictionary was the only way for comprehension in the class and I felt so lonely since all I could say was "Hi" or "How are you?" Even in school, It was usual for me to read books in the corner. More and more, my oath, to reduce talking to Koreans but give my best on studying English, faded away.

In early my days in the Philippines, my English knowledge was zero. I found it was almost impossible to communicate with my classmates or residents. The dictionary was the only aid I had for comprehension and I was devastatingly isolated because all I knew was ''Hi, Bye and How are you? '' to manage a conversation with another. I sat in a corner in the classroom and read books to escape from humiliation and helplessness. My oath, "reduce talking in Korean and talk more in English'' began to fade away!
trennty_09 2 / 6  
Nov 29, 2012   #3
I would get rid of the schedule and add something more substantial. good luck :)
OP kykale 1 / 2  
Nov 29, 2012   #4
To dumi: Wow you are amazing. Thanks for the help!

To trennty_09: thats exactly what I thought! It seemed unnecessary for me too. Thank you

:3
OP kykale 1 / 2  
Nov 29, 2012   #5
I edited some of sentences and got rid of the schedules, thanks for trennty and dumi!!!!
i removed first paragraph and am planning to rewrite it.
Please take a look and post any feedback. i would really appreciate. Thanks!

In my early days in the Philippines, my English knowledge was zero. so I found it was almost impossible to communicate with classmates or residents. Looking up the word in the dictionary was the only way for comprehension and I was devastatingly isolated because all I knew was "Hi, Bye and How are you?" to manage a conversation with another. I sat in a corner in the classroom and read books to escape from humiliation and helplessness. Cultural differences were also one of the factors that isolated me from mingling with them. If I was a bit conservative, they were radical for changes. I felt so lonely and my oath, "reduce talking to Koreans but talk more in English, began to fade away. Hanging out with Korean friends became my happiest moment meanwhile homework and quizzes were left blank. After 5 months from beginning of the semester, I received the result of my midterm. The result? It was frightful. English was F, math C, science D, and other subjects were also marked with C or B. These came as a shock to me, regretted the past; however, what was done was done.

From then, I began to manage the majority of my time for the next final while joining school activities to get involved in the classroom despite my lack of English skills and unfamiliar cultures. I spent ten hours each week in participating voluntary librarian, and practiced 15 hours each week for theater group. I welcomed opportunities where I could experience more and learn English talking to people. Furthermore, I trained myself for better English knowledge; reviewing phrases, memorizing vocabularies, and watching CNN. I pushed myself harder and harder to prevent repeating the same situation again, and it eventually drained me physically and mentally. During an exam period or acting contest (Even though I could not join as a foreign student), the study time or assisting contestants in acting club replaced days. The harder I worked, the tighter I held myself to keep up. There was not enough time to sleep during those days as being a library assistant and acting practices never ceased.

As time passed, I was able to surprisingly improve my grades in all subjects. Especially, I was excited about receiving B in English in 2 years. On the other hand, I was not content with the past activities and studies. I always looked forward to be an acknowledged student. On graduation day, the president awarded me "The Student Improvement Award", given to a student who showed a great improvement in grades and participation in the school. I am proud not of any accomplishment, school activities or academic achievement during 2 years of high school in the Philippines, but I was able to acquire constant time management, endurance, and advanced sociality. More importantly, I took one mature step forward to break the psychological border to interact with anyone in the multi-cultural, globalized society.


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