Please help with revision for transfer essay - Reason for transferring to St. Mary's. Thank you in advance for your help.
When I was accepted to the University of Southern California (USC) ten years ago, I was so overjoyed I think the whole neighborhood heard me shriek in excitement when I read my acceptance letter. I had worked very hard for two years at a community college to have the academic record to be chosen as a transfer student at USC. Unfortunately, around the same time, my family found out my aunt, whom I was very close to and was like a second mother to me, had cancer. At first I was positive and upbeat, but it began to wear on me emotionally. As time went on, we realized she would never be cancer free. I should have immediately informed my academic counselor and professors of my situation, but I thought I would be fine; I thought I didn't need any help. How wrong I was.
Over time, I became so emotionally depleted my grades began to slip in certain courses. I struggled and kept telling myself it would get better, but it didn't. I hit rock bottom when my aunt passed away at the beginning of my second year at USC. It was only then that I informed a couple of my professors and a counselor of my situation and they were very supportive, but it wasn't enough at that point. I was frustrated with my grades and felt there was no redeeming myself. I had checked out completely. Plus, with my aunt gone, I felt it was more important to help my uncle with my grandmother, who had been living with my aunt and uncle for many years at that point. I decided to take a leave of absence from USC and work and help support my family. I also thought some time off would help me clear my head and get back on track. I never went back to USC and held jobs in higher education administration. I have since married and have two beautiful children, whom I now stay home full time to take care of. Even though I never went back to USC, school never left my thoughts. Completing my Bachelor degree has always been in the back of my mind. Now, more than ever, I want to complete my undergraduate degree, for myself, my boys and my husband.
Undoubtedly, St. Mary's College of California is the right school for me due to its reputation for creating life-changing experiences for its students. I believe in the college's perspective on service and learning, how it teaches students to be forward thinking and give back to others, its student centered community, and how it teaches students to have respect for the self and others. One thing I loved about USC was its commitment to a liberal arts education and St. Mary's is devoted to that, which is also why the college stand's out to me. St. Mary's College has a minor in Montessori Thought, which I would really like to enroll in. My three year old son has been going to a Montessori school since he was twenty month old and it has worked wonders on him. He had a speech delay and had many sensorial issues. Since he's been at the school, he has grown into such a wonderfully independent young boy who is able to meet is full potential due to the fact that he's able to work at his own pace. I have a lot of faith in the Montessori philosophy and want to learn all I can. The Collegiate Seminar is something I really look forward to in learning how to think critically, debate fairly, and work closely with faculty and students due to the small class size. One other reason for choosing to transfer to St. Mary's College is its proximity - I live in Oakland, CA so it will allow me to go to school without uprooting my family. I lost my way at USC, in large part due to its size, but I believe I won't get lost here, even if I were to have similar emotional struggles, which I hope I won't.