UC transfer prom: something about life experience > want to be psychologist

What is your intended major? Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had in the field - such as volunteer work, internships and employment, participation in student organizations and activities - and what you have gained from your involvement.

this is really bad but i hope someone can give me good feed back. THANKS FOR READING

Does he talk? Why won't you say anything? I'll give you a dollar if you talk. This is what mostly comprised of my childhood. I grew up with this problem that I really never understood. I though that I was "shy or something" as everyone else was calling me. I was so shy that it was hard for me to interact with anyone, even my family. As I grew up, I never really knew what I wanted to do with my life. My mind was preoccupied with this shyness that was constantly on my mind. Time flew by and all of a sudden I was to walk the stage and accept my high school diploma. At this stage I was extremely depressed and didn't even want to go to school. I was very lost. Ever since I came out of my depression loop, I have found interest in Psychology. That is because this disorder that has been plaguing me my entire life is finally manageable. There is hope. I believe that not everything can be cured with a cut of a knife or administration of a pill. The human mind is still very unexplored. That is why I want to become a psychologist.

On my first day of elementary school, the teacher though something was wrong with me. I wouldn't respond to others when talked to. The school principle told my parents to have my hearing checked because they thought I was deaf. However, what was going through my head was that I was getting confused with all the language being thrown at me. My grandmother who took care of me when my parents were out working spoke to me in a Cantonese dialect tai shan hua. When my parents got off work and were home, they spoke to me in Cantonese. At the doctors, everything checked out but they did notice I was very quiet. In high school, things were even worse. People though I was weird and I was failing many classes. At home, my parents would see me just lying around playing games or watching TV. They sent me to the doctors hoping there was some sort of cure for this. I was diagnosed with ADD because I fit the symptoms. I was given Adderal which was supposed to fix all my problems. However, I just ended up being hyper and even more attentive. High school passed by and ended in a blink of an eye. At the point I was extremely depressed and just wanted to die. Lucky I decided to go to community college and took a few psychology. There I took a few classes and was deeply influenced by one professor who specialized in childhood development. He taught that there are many symptoms but you must find the root the cure it. Seeing a psychologist, I was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder. This made sense to me. I was so nervous that I couldn't even interact with people. Because of these I was kept to my self. I would feel depressed because of this feeling and of being lonely. As I got more depressed, I could not focused on things like school and figuring what I wanted to do with my life. He started me on therapy which has helped me tremendously.

This life battle with my psychological disorder has deeply influenced me to pursue a career in the psychological field.

I think you should use italics for the first part, with the questions people asked you.

I think you should end that first paragraph after a few sentences and give a thesis sentence that will establish the main idea of the story. This will improve its structure.

Use a comma: I was given Adderal, which was...

Because of these I tended to be an introve rt kept to my self .

Okay... I think it's important for you to condense and shorten the stuff about your adversity and make more room for answering the part about how it has affected you: tell about the specific kinds of psychology that interest you, articles you have read about social anxiety, and so forth. Show what you have learned.