The SOP - an opportunity to present yourself to the admissions committee
Throughout high school I planned to major in computer science. Yet when the time came to choose a college, I began to second guess myself. I was unsure if computer science was still what I wanted to study, or rather what I had been pressured to study by my friends and family. My saving grace came in the form of an apprenticeship with Samsung Austin Semiconductor.
I accepted the apprenticeship with hopes of working professionally in the field of computer science to see if I was truly passionate about it. It came as a surprise to me, however, when my job title came across as an equipment technician. I was to perform maintenance on one of their many fleets of multi-million dollar machines. For a while this upset me, as it was not at all what I expected. Yet as time went on, I started to enjoy my work. I was learning how these impressive machines worked, as well as how they made even more impressive semiconductors. Through this experience I realized that's always what interested me. My time in robotics was spent wiring the electronics for our robot. I was interested in how each part worked and what it did, as well as how our software team would utilize it. This realization is what led me to discovering the field of computer engineering.
While working at Samsung I was still taking classes at Austin Community College full-time. However, after a while it became clear that the apprenticeship wasn't headed in a direction that supported my academic interests. So, I decided to leave the apprenticeship and start taking prerequisite classes for my degree. I had a lot of ground to cover, so the next semester I delved myself into several advanced math and science classes. While ACC is a wonderful school district with great professors, it simply doesn't have the courses necessary to provide me with the credits for my major.
This is what led me to Texas A&M. A university with an overwhelming community of faculty and students alike. An amazing and accredited computer engineering program. It also lays the pathway for me to challenge myself, with its numerous research programs and community engineering projects. These resources TAMU provides makes me certain that I have all I need to become a successful computer engineer.
My transcript has a few inconsistencies for which I have no excuse. However, it was an experience that allowed me to find out what I am passionate about and guide my future in a different direction. I am confident that I would grow academically at Texas A&M. The to be surrounded by like-minded people in something I am passionate about makes me certain of this.
Im just hoping for a bit of feedback on what Ive said and if I need to add/remove anything. I feel good about my first few paragraphs, but not so much the last two and I am unsure what to add.
Ian, since this is a transfer statement of purpose, the focus should be less on the irrelevant internship and more on the ACC and TAMU comparative discussion. While mentioning the Samsung apprenticeship helps, it should not be longer than one paragraph since it is not related to the reason why you are changing universities. Focus on how the apprenticeship told you what you don't want to pursue as a career instead. The talk about being pressured by your parents again, is not related to the transfer reasons so, unless your parents chose ACC for you, there is no need to involve them in this conversation.
The reasons for your transfer to TAMU should be grounded on your academic expectations and goals. A reference to a professional goal, in relation to the apprenticeship (or not) can be included as another factor for your desire to change universities. Right now, the lack of specific reasons for choosing TAMU makes the essay less than convincing regarding your reasons for your transfer. You need specific references to show 2 important information. (1) Indicate how far ACC has taken your learning and training and (2) explain why you believe TAMU can pick up where ACC left off with your education (based on the course offerings and technical training available there). Those will strongly represent the purpose of your transfer from ACC to TAMU.