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Transferring into Texas A&M: Essay A (required)


essaygirl12 1 / -  
Dec 28, 2011   #1
Statement of Purpose: REQUIRED (submitted and sent)

Lewis Mumford once said, "Life is the only art that we are required to practice without preparation, and without being allowed the preliminary trials, the failures and botches, that are essential for the training of a mere beginner." Going into college I did not realize all of the things I would face. The opportunities that surround me every day and the chances to meet people seem endless. Transferring on the other hand is not quite as easy.

I have applied to several schools and have begun to realize how difficult the process can be to transfer. However, when I really want something I go for it with all I have. I have had difficult times in school when I thought I would not make it through, but I have learned that in order to succeed I have to give it my all. In high school I had a hard time feeling like I could achieve the same things the other students were and was discouraged to even continue. The thing that kept me going was knowing that if I could just push through and try my best then I will still have accomplished the same things as the other students, graduating. Even after graduating, there have been times I have not done as well as others, yet I have found that with positive thinking and perseverance I can accomplish anything I want. I am a determined and committed person in academics and in relationships with others. I make every effort to be the best that I can be in school and enjoy it much more because of that.

Many of my family members have attended Texas A&M and have been great examples of what true Aggies are. They have the spirit of determination, leadership, and responsibility, and those are characteristics I strive for in my everyday life and in my academics. I would love to join my grandfather, sister, brother-in-law, grandma, and other family members in carrying on the tradition of being an Aggie. Seeing my grandfather talk about his Aggie Ring and all of his professor stories he has from teaching at Texas A&M make me love it even more. To be admitted to Texas A&M is more to me than just another school to go to. It is carrying on the academic traditions and achievements that will leave a lasting impression on those around me and in my future work place. It is truly a privilege to be called an Aggie, and I would love nothing more than to transfer and continue my endeavors at Texas A&M.
ashatan 4 / 25  
Dec 29, 2011   #2
First off- shorten your quote. While great in the eighties, now quotes, unless they are great ones, sound silly and usually, unoriginal. This is a great quote, one of my favorites, but I don't really see how you tie it into your essay. For the second paragraph, you really need to vary up your sentence structure and include more personal examples- all that stuff about perseverance and positive thinking is just generic platitudes they are going to find on a million other applications. don't try to pander to their expectations, just show your true voice and talk about anything important to you, be specific and it doesnt matter if its little things- the more specific the imagery, the better. the last paragraph is better- just don't overplay the whole legacy thing, not all AOs like that. Good luck, and i hope this helped! and sorry if I was harsh, I'm trying to help as much as possible.


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