"travel companions" - Essay for admission to SIBM, Pune (India)

Suppose you had to choose two people to travel with you on a cross-country trip. Who would you choose and why? What would you hope to learn from them? The people could be alive now, from another era or fictitious characters. (300 words)

If I had to travel across the country with two companions, I would choose my best friend from school Vinutha Ginjupally and Jeeves from P.G. Wodehouse's Bertie and Jeeves series. Vinutha has been my companion in many flights of fancies involving travel across the world and I would like to share this experience with some one who has the same desire and motivation to travel as me. The best trips are made with friends and there is simply no fun in even the most exotic places with out familiar and friendly faces. My other choice of companion has been inspired by the excellent portrayal of his character by the legendary author P.G.Wodehouse. His steadfastness of mind and ability to think on his feet will be of invaluable use in foreign environments. He is unobtrusive yet resourceful and dependable. On the other hand, my friend is enthusiastic and open to adventure. Her warm personality and sense of humour have endeared her to me for many years. She has lived in several countries over the 20 years of her life and has perfected the art of adapting to a new situation with ease. I hope I can learn flexibility from her while educating myself on diplomacy and tact from the inimitable Jeeves. He is also known to have displayed encyclopaedic knowledge of a vast range of subjects like history, politics, geography and literature which will be of help when we interact with local people and deal with cultural differences. His presence will also be vital in ensuring our safety and security while maintaining discretion as proved beyond a doubt in several instances in the books detailing the exploits of his master, Bertie. Both of these travel companions are trustworthy and open minded. I believe I can have the trip of a life time with them by my side.

Dear Raju,

It's vague. Try to develope something interesting. You have wasted too many words in telling things that are not necessary (especially first half). I think, in 300 words you can't afford to do that.

Thanks and best of luck!!!

After this sentence, you should use a few sentences to express the main idea of the whole essay. Then, end the first paragraph. Do not start talking about the first character until paragraph 2. Do not talk about the 2nd character until paragraph 3. That is how you can organize your essay. Right now, it is hard to read, because it is all one big paragraph.

As you divide this into paragraphs, you can ADD ONE SENTENCE to the end of each paragraph. End each paragraph with a sentence that relates it back to your main theme, the main message of the essay. Make sure that at the beginning and end of the essay you explain this theme, because it is the only thing the reader will remember.

:-)