Hello guys, this is my essay for the University of Washington and i was wondering if i could get some feedback on the essay.
Prompt: 1. Describe an experience of cultural difference, positive or negative, you have had or observed. What did you learn from it?
I never knew how truly worse off the rest of the world is until I have seen what it is like to live in an impoverished country first hand.
Two summers ago I traveled by cruise across the Mediterranean. Throughout the trip I went to cities like Athens, Rome, and Alexandria, Egypt. Compared to the luxurious boat that we were on, most of the people who lived in these cities were poor and barely enough money to make ends meet. When I was in Egypt, this truth was all the more obvious. Since property values are high, many people are packed into small living spaces, the amount of homeless that roam the streets with no aid is high, and dirt and grime are everywhere.
What was most surprising to me was that on our tour, we needed an armed bodyguard to accompany us at all times. When we were at the Great Pyramids, men tried to come up to our tour group to sell their goods, looking harmless, and before they could even say a word our body guard pointed his gun at them and told them to get away from us. Not only did Egypt have a problem with poverty, but also had a problem with security.
A country where these things are accepted as normal still appalls me today. Everything was unlike the comfortable standard of living that I have here in America. On a broader perspective, this goes for many of the other countries in the world. People move to America because of the fortunes that we have, and I know that many people take it for granted every single day. I did too, before I saw how bad people have it elsewhere.
I have always been thankful for what I have in this world, being blessed with shelter, food every night, and opportunities that many other people around the world don't have. But what I saw gave me an even bigger sense of fortune. A scrawny little boy tried to sell a flimsy keychain to be able to eat for the day. We don't have many things like that in America because of the programs that we set up to help homelessness, but in Egypt, homeless or suffering children are seen on a daily basis. Although many people in our world already try to do a lot to help the less fortunate, I learned that there is always one more thing that any individual can do.
Having knowledge about the rest of the world is necessary as most of the world is moving towards the global market . Traveling to other countries opens one's mind to things that you don't experience on a typical day. The culture and life of every country is very different from each other, something which is only possible to grasp when physically there. From my trip to Egypt I realized that to change the world, you need to know the world, because there are things that even the most brilliant men cannot fix if they do not have a context of global proportions.
I really like your essay! I have yet to write mine for UW yet. :P
At first I thought it would be a strange essay because you're talking about a vacation in which you watched others in their poverty, but you really pulled it together with your contrasts of the cruise and the people in the streets.
