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Traveling and exploring the world - UBC University Undergraduate Prompt Response #1

Jan 9, 2019   #1

Tell us about who you are.

How would your family, friends, and/or members of your community describe you? If possible, please include something about yourself that you are most proud of and why. (maximum 250 words)

Throughout my childhood and adolescence, I have travelled to and lived in various Asian countries and these differing cultures that I have been exposed to have shaped and developed my values, morals, and ultimately, my personality. Initially I was shy, timid and social interactions would heighten my anxiety, but having been exposed to a welcoming environment, I have grown out of my shell and have become more adaptable and expressive.

Curiously, I have never been described as one particular thing; different environments and situations enhance my various personality traits. While my English teacher would describe me as diligent, focussed and soft-spoken, my family members, especially my younger sisters, would argue otherwise. Unlike anyone else, they have experienced the sort of explosive, spontaneous, and admittedly chaotic side of me unlike anyone else. Similarly, while my middle school music teacher has observed my creative and thoughtful characteristics, my soccer coach would highlight my passionate, aggressive and competitive elements.

The more that I have travelled and explored the world, the more I have learned about myself and ripened as a person. Some might point out the challenges one might face when moving houses, much less to an unknown land. But having moved from Abu Dhabi to Azerbaijan and later to India, I've learnt to ride the stream because over time I've embraced life's unpredictabilities. This sort of maturity is something I'm extremely proud of.

Holt - / 7,546 2001  
Jan 10, 2019   #2
Dan, you need to represent 3 different people in this discussion based on the prompt requirements. These people are (1) your parents, (2) your friends, (3) community members you deal with. Therefore, you should remove the reference to your siblings and pick only one of the 2 teachers to offer a description of you as their student. You have to represent your friend in the statement as well. These are the 3 people whose points of view the reviewer will use to assess your possible ability to integrate into the university community / setting. While your discussion approach is good, the represented descriptions are not proper so you just have to fix the description representation part of the essay. You have to present one specific reason why you feel that your international exposure is something that you are proud of. At the moment, you are separating that discussion into 2 parts. One at the start and one at the end of the essay. To keep the essay within the prompt presentation requirements, discuss your accomplishment as one solid presentation at the end of the essay.

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