True Diversity = Something I Myself Do Not Have; Yale Supplement

I originally wrote this piece for QuestBridge but am currently trying to see if it works well with the Yale Supplement which does not really have a specific prompt except "tell else something we do not know about you from the rest of your application?" I would just like to know if other think the paper is interesting, a good fit for Yale, etc. Thanks!

True Diversity = Something I Myself Do Not Have

My friends and I kind of have a running joke: they keep me around because, being Chinese, I bring diversity to the group. While slightly amusing, it is the truth. During my time spent in high school, I would usually be the sole Chinese in the activities I partook in. While a simple explanation for this situation can be derived from the fact that I attend a small school with a relatively small Chinese American population, I will choose to ignore that clarification so as to dive deeper into understanding the role I play in bringing diversity to the things I do.

When I was preparing to attend my first Model United Nations conference, my parents asked me, "Are there any other Chinese students [from my school] attending?" I responded, "Only me." When I joined theatre? "Only me." When I joined student government? "Only me." When asked what diversity I would bring to a college, it appears that the simple answer would be, "Just being Chinese and participating in the things I like to do would bring diversity as it seemed for the past three years."

Of course I realize college is going to be much more diverse and just being Chinese and doing certain things does not guarantee that I will be able to give something no one else can offer. There is probably countless Chinese Americans with interests in history, politics, and theatre in the world right now. I believe that is something everyone fears: meeting someone that is exactly like themselves, getting the feeling of individuality being taken away, the idea that there is someone else that has accomplished just as much or even more and can offer to the world everything they can. While I have been fortunate enough not to have yet met my doppelganger, it is probably only a matter of time.

I understand I can no longer base what I have to offer colleges and the world around being the only Chinese American to participate in Model United Nations and theatre. However, when you look at the students at a college, not everyone is completely distinctive; they have similar interest, accomplishments, style, and personalities. It is the interactions among the people that create true diversity.

In response to the question, I do not think I can offer a college anything that is truly new and one of a kind, very few people can; instead I can and I push myself into the thriving sea of interactions. The conversations that will take place, the debates, the new ideas, all of that is matchless and I have no idea where all that will take me. To bring diversity on our own is not possible, but to create something new and distinct with other people, the process of melding minds, flying sparks of intellect, the engaging reactions, all that is beautiful.

Three things. One, is it a bit TOO humble? It's realistic, bracingly so, but it tells us nothing about YOU except a heritage. Two, I don't think you've answered the prompt. They'd probably know you're Chinese-American already. And three, you've got this much space to talk about what sets you apart, why would you squander it by talking about something that DOESN'T set you apart?

I wouldn't use the same essay, sorry.
Good luck:)

Completely agree with Nisha here. This will definitely not help you for Yale.

For some reason I do not fully understand, I actually like this essay and think that it is suitable. Albeit it's it not perfect, I think it coveys a true sense of introspection, a trait that ad comms really look for. The ability to evaluate oneself objectively.

Secondly, I think that your thesis paragraph at the end of the essay shows that you actually bring something into the mix, something in the form of your perceptions. There is a saying that real diversity doesn't lie in the color of one's skin but in the content on one's thought.


All I would suggest is that you highlight this a bit more because it is an amazing observation. Diversity is not possible in an individual, only in a group of individuals.

Also,


is a bit awkward. probably try rephrase??

All together, I like this. its risky but sometimes risky is good.

Good luck :)

to nishabala:
thanks for the comments! I will try working on much more clarification because the way you read it I would not want college admins to read it the same way. but I think this paper does reveal something about myself. Yes they already know that I am Chinese American and they already know I participate in Model UN, theatre, etc. What they don't know is how I felt being the only Chinese American participating in this activities. I definitely see how I might be too humble, I was struggling with that as I wrote this. But my edit, which I am working on touches on at. I want my paper to show progression, first because of these experiences, I felt one of a kind. But as time progressed I soon realized I am not entirely unique. It might sound self-bashing. In the end the point I am trying to get across is that each student tries so hard to bring diversity, they try so hard to be so one of a kind. But eventually most people reach a limit to how different they can be. In the end, I realize diversity is so much easier than being a member of a different race that tries to break stereotypes. Instead, even if to statistically average people come together, the interactions between the two creates a type of diversity.