Hey guys, I am trying to write out my essays for my freshman college admissions application to texas A&M University. This is just a rough draft that I sat down and wrote in about 30 minutes, but I would like some feedback and editing from you all before I go back to revise it. I need help with things like the length ( I don't know what it considered too long or too short) and punctuation, but really any feedback would be appreciated! Thanks!
When I found out that I had to write an essay on someone who has impacted my life, I didn't think it would be that hard. After all, I am surrounded by many wonderful people who have impacted my life. Unfortunately, this proved to be a problem. How was I possibly going to pick one person? Everyone in my life has helped piece the puzzle together that is me. My father; a wonderful, compassionate man of God, taught me kindness, responsibility, and one of my person favorites, to have a sense of humor. My mother always showed immeasurable strength, and taught me how to live right, to guard your mind with common sense, and to do whatever it takes to help those you love. My best friend showed me how to always find the joy in life, how to truly love people, and how to keep my feet firmly on the ground. Those are just people off the top of my head! There are countless others, family friends, sisters, friends, who have all impacted my life and showed my how to be a better person. Do you see my predicament? How was I supposed to choose one person to write about when they have all had such a great impact on my life? Well, that's when I sat back and realized that I needed to look at the bigger picture. What do all these people have in common? Jesus. Every single one of these people has the Spirit of Jesus inside them, and they have always pushed me to go deeper in my relationship with the Lord. It occurred to me that it was not all of these people impacting my life, but one larger than life figure who was working through all my family and friends to shape me into the person that He needs me to be.
Whenever I look back on where I would be without Jesus to light my path, it makes me so thankful that He came and guided me in the right direction. When I was younger, I was a bit of a cynic. I didn't particularly care about the world around me, or how to help them. It was all about my personal security, image, and happiness. All that I wanted out of a career was one that would make me enough money to live pretty extravagantly. Then, Jesus got ahold of me. My life has been completely changed by Him. He has showed me the person that I should be. He taught me about responsibility; showing me that that word means a lot more than checking off the chores that your parents set out for you to do that day. It meant going above and beyond to serve your surrounding community. He taught me about selflessness. This is a lesson that I feel particularly fortunate to have learned at an early age. In a very self-serving generation, I was lucky enough to be shown the consequences of that kind of living without having to experience it. He taught me about kindness. Before Jesus, I thought kindness meant smiling when you passed people at Wal-Mart, or picking up something that an elderly person dropped. He showed me that kindness isn't a task that you perform but a lifestyle that you live. Most of all, He taught me about love. I know, I know, sounds a little bit like a hippie, right? That's always what I used to think. Until, once again, Jesus opened my eyes to the realization that love is not something wimpy or used to avoid the sometimes-necessary confrontations in our life. It is also a lifestyle. A lifestyle that shows patience and kindness towards one another, while also remaining strong enough to stand up for the things that you believe in. One of the decisions that all of His years of direction has showed me is that I want a career that will help someone. It is with that knowledge that I have chosen to pursue a degree in counseling. These values that have been instilled in my life have also made me realize that I would love to attend a university that instills values like honor, honesty, responsibility, and integrity, into their student. This is why Texas A&M has become my first choice. I cannot begin to describe the impact that Jesus Christ has had on my life. The only thing more exciting than seeing the change He has made in my life over the past few years is knowing that that is nothing in comparison to the plans that He has for my future.
