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Why Tufts Essay- A Mirror Reflection?


ddragonx34 7 / 22  
Dec 29, 2009   #1
Any advice/critique would be awesome! Thanks!

Which aspects of Tufts' curriculum or undergraduate experience prompt your application? In short: ''Why Tufts?'' (50 words)

Nothing can stop the reverberating energy that I get from thinking about Tufts. The notion of a globalized, creative, and passionate environment is overwhelming. I love Tufts because it is a reflection of my own life style- multiculturalism, world-class dining, interdisciplinary education, and most of all, a sense of community.

KupcakeKim 4 / 10  
Dec 29, 2009   #2
Wow, they ask for such a short prompt.

I think you did a good job.
However, if you feel you need more room to add another reason, I see places where you can eliminate fluff:

I would change "I love Tufts because it is a reflection of my own life style- multiculturalism, world-class dining, interdisciplinary education, and most of all, a sense of community."

to
"Tufts is a reflection of my own life style- multiculturalism, world-class dining, interdisciplinary education, and most of all, a sense of community."

Well... I eliminated 5 words... *scratches head*

I'm not so sure the first sentence is very strong. It basically states that you love Tufts, but the admission know that already- if you didnt like it you wouldnt apply.
OP ddragonx34 7 / 22  
Dec 29, 2009   #3
wow. : ) it sounds considerably better. Thanks for the suggestion.

And yeah, point taken about my first sentence. I was trying to sound excited, but I guess it was redundant haha.
lillyforlunch 2 / 7  
Dec 30, 2009   #4
Hey Samuel,

I think you did a great job!

Just one comment, I may be being too picky here, but I think you should use another word besides "overwhelming" to describe the notion of a globalized, creative, and passionate environment... perhaps exciting?
KupcakeKim 4 / 10  
Dec 30, 2009   #5
Yeah, I agree. Overwhelming has a negative connotation in this context- almost as if you're saying the globalization and creativity is too much to take.
OP ddragonx34 7 / 22  
Dec 31, 2009   #6
Yeah. I also agree. :D I found that "irresistible" works a lot better.

~I appreciate the feedback. Thanks!
OP ddragonx34 7 / 22  
Dec 31, 2009   #7
Final Version! Any takes?

Tufts' globalized, creative, and passionate environment is irresistible. I am deeply interested in the renowned International Relations program as well as double-majoring in Psychology. Tufts' multiculturalism, world-class dining, interdisciplinary education, and, most of all, sense of community, is a clear reflection of my own lifestyle.
kakashi1992 3 / 10  
Jan 2, 2010   #8
Tufts' multiculturalism, world-class dining, interdisciplinary education, and, most of all, sense of community, clearly reflects elements of my own lifestyle.
jyu104 14 / 46  
Jan 3, 2010   #9
Don't use world-class dining. That hurts it a lot. I know Tufts has a pretty good dining plan but seriously.


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