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Tufts - Self-expression


applesandtea 3 / 9  
Dec 28, 2009   #1
Ackkk, overall, I'm fine with my Tufts supplement except for my response to this one question...I wanted to juxtapose my interests in my response, but I don't know if this made my response extremely choppy...so if anyone can help me out, I'd definitely appreciate it!

2. Self-identity and personal expression take many forms. For example, music, clothing, politics, extracurricular interests, and ethnicity can each be a defining attribute. Do you surf or tinker? Are you a vegetarian poet who loves Ayn Rand? Do you prefer YouTube or test tubes? Are you preppie or Goth? Use the richness of your life to give us insight: what voice will you add to the Class of 2014?

It is difficult to explain who I am in 200 words because the ways I express myself and my interests vary widely. I am loud and passionate; I am timid and tranquil. I enjoy spending time with friends; I enjoy being in my own world. Banksy's "There is Always Hope" moves me, but so does Pierre-Auguste Cot's "Le Printemps." Graphic t-shirts, jeans, and Nike Dunks reflect my upbeat, passionate personality, but the timeless elegance of Oscar de la Renta, Giorgio Armani, and Yves Saint Laurent also captivates me. I do not play sports, but I am passionate about soccer. I grew up listening to rap as a child, but I also grew up playing classical on the piano. The list can go on, but if I had to choose one word that would best describe myself, it would be "paradox."

As a "paradox" with varying tastes and interests, I hope to introduce different things I enjoy to fellow classmates and at the same time, learn about other forms of expression and interests that I an unfamiliar with. I hope I will be able to add my own individual voice to the class of 2014 while learning from the voices of other Tufts students.
kenziii 7 / 35  
Dec 28, 2009   #2
It is difficult to explain who I am in 200 words because the ways I express myself and my interests vary widely. I am loud and passionate; I am timid and tranquil. I resist limits, word count or otherwise. I enjoy spending time with friends; I enjoy being in my own world. Banksy's "There is Always Hope" moves me, but so does Pierre-Auguste Cot's "Le Printemps." Graphic t-shirts, jeans, and Nike Dunks reflect my upbeat, passionate personality, but the timeless elegance of Oscar de la Renta, Giorgio Armani, and Yves Saint Laurent also captivates me. I do not play sports, but I am passionate about soccer. I grew up listening to rap as a child, but I also grew up playing classical on the piano.

-The first sentence is what everyone says. Don't waste space. Feel free to use the sentence I added or not.
-You have a lot of extra words.
-That last part about voices makes me think of singing. If you're creative enough you could throw a clever sentence about many different voices creating a beautiful harmony, songs...

Check mine?
OP applesandtea 3 / 9  
Dec 28, 2009   #3
I'll take the first sentence out. I really like the sentence you added! I think it adds a little humor :) I also know that I'm extremely verbose haha...should I make it more concise?

I also really like your last suggestion!

Thank you so much! Your suggestions were very helpful...and I'm on my way to look over yours :)
Changan 1 / 10  
Dec 28, 2009   #4
I think that your poetic writing is good.

It is good thing that you write about yourself but you have to use similar words such as
though or bough or cough or through.

Or, you can use opposite meaning of words to express your figure.

Good luck.
OP applesandtea 3 / 9  
Dec 28, 2009   #5
Hi, Changan! Thank you so much for reading...I'm currently fixing up my supplement and I'll definitely keep your suggestions in mind!


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