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Tufts Self-Identity Supplement. What voice will you add to the class of 2014?


LolaYu 1 / 5  
Dec 30, 2009   #1
Self-identity and personal expression take many forms. For example, music, clothing, politics, extracurricular interests and ethnicity can each be a defining attribute. Do you surf or tinker? Are you a vegetarian poet who loves Ayn Rand? Do you prefer YouTube or test tubes? Are you preppie or Goth? Use the richness of your life to give us insight: what voice will you add to the class of 2014?

One summer day I woke up, and it was like any other morning until an epiphany fell down from the sky and landed in my bowl of cereal - I was a huge geek. I found myself eating breakfast, while playing Sudoku, planted in front of the television watching the National Geographics series, "In the Womb". In another hour, I would be on my way to Biogen Idec's summer program to finish creating my chimeric antibodies. From that angle, I may look like your typical Asian science geek. But trust me, it gets much worse. On my free time, one can find me watching old Alfred Hitchcock or Billy Wilder films, as my parents look at me and shake their heads in disgrace. And to top it all off, I am also a hard rock and metal maniac who has a complete devout adoration for Guns 'n Roses (not quite the typical style for a classical violinist). Besides being a complete nerd, I also see myself as somewhat of a tomboy. Instead of shopping or watching Gilmore Girls, I would much more likely be found engaged in an intense table tennis match with my dad, watching football, or playing Halo with my brothers. Many of my quirky interests foreign to my friends spring from the fact that I simply love discovering and experiencing new things. At Tufts, I will be determined to explore the depths of education and research and emerge from the surface with something new each time.
maochinesechick 3 / 5  
Dec 30, 2009   #2
Haha I totally enjoyed your analysis of asian-ness :)
Just a few suggestions - you have an awesome essay!

But trust me, it gets much worse.Maybe you don't want to lead the admissions officer to think negatively...OnIn my free time, one can find (...) shake their heads in disgracedisgust .

Great transitions! Love it.
OP LolaYu 1 / 5  
Dec 30, 2009   #3
Thanks for the feedback Wendy! I also forgot to mention that the suggested word count is 200 but my response is 248 words, which is only really about one sentence more. Do you think this is alright or should I try to shorten it?
shannon92 15 / 74  
Dec 30, 2009   #4
dont shorten it the number of words isnt important, just the character limit :)

good job.. i like it a LOT

- I was a huge geek. ( it should be I am)
-actually, you could cut this out: "But trust me, it gets much worse"- its informal/doesnt add anything
-Many of my quirky interests foreign to my friends spring from the fact that I simply love discovering and experiencing new things.
this sentence is awkward, i would try rewording :)

could you look at mine please? its called: youth and government intellectual vitality PLEASE HELP
IvanD 3 / 6  
Dec 30, 2009   #5
Lovely, I love how you seemingly turned all these 'turn-off' attributes of being a geek into a turn-on as special qualities of an individual.

I think the word count is fine, you have 2000 characters which is probably like at least 350 words, so don't worry about that. The intro made me laugh and your conclusion made me marvel. Loving it.

There aren't any structural or grammatical mistakes that haven't been already picked on so I will leave that part out.

Please do return the favor by reading my Common App essay plz?
Peimon 2 / 11  
Dec 30, 2009   #6
Great essay!

I was eating breakfast, while playing Sudoku...
In my free time, one can find me watching old ...
Many of my quirky interests foreign to my friends (This part about your friends is kind of unnecessary, maybe take it out?) spring from the fact that ...

At Tufts, I am determined to explore the depths of education ...

Also, you use a lot of commas that could be taken out. :) Good luck!
If you have time, it would be greatly appreciated if you reviewed my essay. Thanks!


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