Which aspects of Tufts' curriculum or undergraduate experience prompt your application? In short: ''Why Tufts?''
I have yet to decide which career I want to follow, but I believe Tufts' well-rounded undergraduate program will help me prepare for whatever career I later choose, whether it involves medicine, law, or computer engineering. During a campus tour this summer, I not only admired the cheerful atmosphere between the student tour guides, but I was also fascinated by the their unique experiences studying in a Tufts program abroad. I knew Tufts was the choice for me.
There is a Quaker saying: ''Let your life speak.'' Describe the environment in which you were raised--your family, home, neighborhood or community--and how it influenced the person you are today.
During my middle school years, I had lived in Lord Baron Apartments in Burlington, MA. Initially, my friends and I always played basketball and tennis on the courts outside. However, I eventually began to feel that we should add more to the mix. An idea hit me! I grabbed four rubber balls from my house, called up my friends to the tennis court and told them, "Let's play dodgeball!" I made up some additional rules to make it more compatible with the tennis court, and we immediately started playing. It was thrilling! Constantly watching out for enemy attack while at the same time searching for an opportunity to grab a ball. It was fun! Within the next few weeks, about twenty other children from the neighborhood had joined in on the game and had become our new friends. A few months later, another idea popped into my head and I started a new trend of capture the flag. Slowly, others began to speak up their own ideas for new games. By the end of the year, I found myself leading the crowd through a diverse range of activities: tennis, basketball, dodgeball, capture the flag, cops and robbers, "the rock game," building tag, etc. This community had an immense influence on me. It not only showed me the joy of various recreational sports, but it also enabled me to take the initiative and gave me my first opportunity at leadership.
Self-identity and personal expression take many forms. Use the richness of your life to give us insight: Who are you?
When I was around ten years old, I wished to be like Superman, saving the world and coming to the aid of those in need. In India, I encountered many poor people begging for money outside the temple entrance. In the United States, I visited the Boys and Girls Home and met orphans who had lost the place they once called "home." Seeing all these unfortunate people, I felt like I needed to help them in some way. I wanted to be the hero that would come to their rescue. But what could a person like me do for them? I can't make much of a difference, can I? I'm sure this same thought has crossed the minds of many others before me. However, I realized that I could make a difference. To them, even a little could mean a lot. When I visited India this summer, I handed ten rupees to an elderly couple sitting outside the temple, and saw their faces light up with joy. As a Key Club member, I gave a winter coat to the Boys and Girls Home and saw them gratefully accept our donations. I also ran alongside many others in the Autism Run to show support for the disadvantaged children with autism, and I participated in Relay for Life to gain support in helping cancer patients. No, I may not be a superhero with the power to save the world, but I am a proud volunteer with the power to make a difference.
I read all three and this is all I could pick up...
saving the world and coming to the aid of those in need. how about just... helping those in need? Because saving the world does involve helping people. But anyways if you dont want to use it I still think the line after and needs adjustment. You could use my helping those in need.
And come to their rescue. Coming should be used when the place is near you, how about going but still i'd say something like... I wanted to be the hero that would rescue them from their situations... Or something like that.
Loved all of them! Especially the last one! Lol. Oh and if you can, could you read mine about dancehall and make some comments. No one is really commenting on it no matter how many times I asked like you did. :P. Oh and GOOD LUCK! Hope you get accepted to your schools and I hope this helped
Oh OK, yeah your revisions do make it sound better. Thanks!
When I said "come to the rescue," I was using it from the perspective that they were next to me. Because that's what I was thinking as I saw them when I visited India and when I visited the Boys and Girls Home.
I still feel a bit uncertain about my second one, so I might rewrite that.
Yeah, sure. I can take a look at your essay.
the second one? Let your life speak? But it's so good lol. Well if you can write a better one then i'll try and help you
I sorta rushed through this so I'm not sure about this one either. But let me know which one you think is better. Thanks.
There is a Quaker saying: ''Let your life speak.'' Describe the environment in which you were raised--your family, home, neighborhood or community--and how it influenced the person you are today.
Throughout my life, my family has continuously moved from country to country, state to state, and city to city. Within my short sixteen-year life, I have already lived in three different countries and eight different cities. Many people would enjoy traveling the world like this. I hated it! These sudden relocations created a barrier between me and the term “close friends.” Because of my timidity, it would often take me weeks or even months before I started making friends. However, before I could become “close” to them, my family would transfer to another town. All that effort to develop a relationship, suddenly gone to waste. Fortunately, these experiences overall had a positive effect on my character. I came to treasure my friendships and memories with others, and my will to make good friends slowly overcome my shyness. I began approaching others and making friends much more quickly. Instead of waiting for the relationship to gradually develop, I learned to take the initiative. I help strengthen our bonds by calling up my friends to eat lunch together, go bowling, party, or study in a group. I have learned to overcome the barrier between us, and I currently have many close friends not only here in North Carolina, but even in my previous home of Massachusetts. I still stay in contact with them through facebook and even visit them often, as I did this previous summer.
I have yet to decide which career I want to follow, but I believe Tufts' well-rounded undergraduate program will help me prepare for whatever career I later choose, whether it involves medicine, law, or computer engineering. During a campus tour this summer, I was fascinated by not only the cheerful atmosphere between the student tour guides, but also by the their unique experiences studying in a Tufts program abroad. I knew that Tufts was the choice for me.
...
For this next part, "it was thrilling!" and "It was fun!" are to much together... you should omit one or the other, I think:
I made up some additional rules to make it more compatible with the tennis court, and we immediately started playing. It was thrilling! Constantly watching out for enemy attack while at the same time searching for an opportunity to grab a ball. It was fun!
I really like the superman one...
Throughout my life, my family has continuously moved from country to country, state to state, and city to city. Within my short sixteen-year life, I have already lived in three different countries and eight different cities. Many people would enjoy traveling the world like this. I hated it!
new paragraph here:
These sudden relocations created a barrier between me and any chance to gain what are known as "close friends." Because of my timidity, it would often take me weeks or even months to start making friends. However, before I could become "close" to them, my family would transfer to another town.
I still stay in contact with them via the Internet and even visit them often, as I did this previous summer.
OK, Thank You for the comments.
But I only need one for the Quaker saying. Should I use the dodgeball one or the one about friends?
This new one, about friends. This one gets my vote.
