Thanks for helping, don't be shy to make any comments correcting my essay. Thank you
Prompt: Using the space below, please write between 250 and 500 words to describe a special interest, significant experience or achievement, or anything else that has special meaning to you or had a significant influence on you. (Tulane)
I was numb; my heart did not feel sadness nor happiness, but maybe just shock and anxiety. A few moments before, the music faded and the last flower licked the stage through the movement of my arm. The silence was only amplified by hushed weeping which was then shattered by applause showing approval and connection.
My hard work and struggles have finally paid off. My dedication and persistence helped me overcome my moments of discouragement. My mom would always tell me to try to be great at everything that I choose to do, and with that kind of work ethic in mind I have never given up on anything that I have set to do.
Dance has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember; in my earlier high school years I performed with a dance company called Stella Nova and was a part of all the school's dance conservatory performances. Even though there were moments when I was discouraged and exhausted from constant obstacles, I decided that my love for dance was too strong to stop, and without that decision I would not be able to tell my story.
For me as a performer, there is no structural way to explain how a dancer takes choreography and adapts it into her interpretation and feelings of the story. In my school we have yearly performances in which selections of seniors create their thesis. This project was a large part of my Junior year and it challenged me emotionally, physically, technically, and mentally. I was determined to make these performances my best. The challenge of the choreography and level of dance pushed me to work my hardest. My choreographer was Jenna Matus and on Christmas her mother died, I was choreographed to dance as her late mother who had cancer. I did not expect or think that it would be possible to connect to the feelings that Jenna's mom must have gone through by facing such an uncontrollable power where the world and energy of life slowly fade away. Even though I have never met Jenna's mom, she has taught me to value the special bond between people and the beauty that it offers to life. Through the tears of the audience during my solo, and the proud wet eyes of the choreographer, I understood the value of life and realized that I have grown as a person through an unforgettable experience. I will have the privilege to perform this show again at the Sharpe Hospital for Cancer patients in January 2012.
Connections found throughout the world are a gift to those who realize the importance of noticing the small beauties that they can appreciate. I have met many amazing, diverse people through this experience, and have learned to value other people's opinions. It persists to amaze me that without words or acting, dance is able to communicate to different cultures and languages something so powerful that it could make people cry, laugh, love, smile, hate, fear, and more.
Great opening paragraph!!
My dedication and persistence have helped me overcome my moments of discouragement.
My mom would always tell me to try to be great at everything that I choose to do, and with that kind of work ethic in mind I have never given up on anything that I have set my mind on doing.
For me as a performer, there is no structural way to explain how a dancer takes choreography and adapts it into her own interpretation and feelings of the story.
My choreographer was Jenna Matus, and on Christmas her mother died, so I was choreographed to dance as her late mother who had cancer.
Even though I had never met Jenna's mom, she has taught me to value the special bond between people and the beauty that it offers to life.
It continues to amaze me that without words or acting, dance is able to communicate to different cultures and languages something so powerful that it could make people cry, laugh, love, smile, hate, fear, and more.
This is such an interesting subject, and a well written essay. It does seem as if it could use one last sentence. Maybe it's the last 2 words that seem out of place, as 'and more' is very vague. Good luck in school and have fun!
:)
