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Tulane personal statement - swimming


icecreamcat 1 / -  
Nov 13, 2009   #1
Please write between 250 and 500 words to describe a special interest, significant experience or achievement, or anything else that has special meaning to you or had a significant influence on you.

I have been swimming my entire life, both for competition and as a hobby. I continued the sport when I moved to the United States for education. As a high school freshman, my passion for swimming reached its apex when I won the first place for my fifty-meter freestyle in the New England All Star Swim Team Meet. The thrill of triumphing a swimming competition made me realize that my persistence would eventually pay off and that I would thrive if I truly devoted to achieve something.

Swimming had successfully bridged a connection bewteen me and a foreign world. To begin with, I spoke little English when I started my ninth grade. Although I luckily made the varsity try-out, I had trouble keeping up with the practices and communicating with my teammates and coach. Thus, even though I was a capable swimmer, my coach decided to assign me solely to individual competing events rather than the more intense and cooperative-oriented relay ones. Despite a discouraging decision, it was in fact the turning point of my swimming career. I did unexpectedly well and ultimately affected the coach to change her mind to let me participate in team events.

Gradually, I overcame my fear and practiced English with my English-speaking friends.
While I had to carry a translator wherever I went, my English proficiency enhanced immensely by the end of the swimming season: I changed from saying only brief, tedious greeting words to organized, informative sentences and phrases. Also, I no longer practiced swimming alone but exchanged skills with my teammates. Indeed, both my English and swimming skills progressed so much that my coach was delighted and once again allotted me to take part in several of the most competitive relay events.

Being able to corroborate and achieve a common goal was not the destination of my pursuit, however, as my ambition continued to expand. I dedicated more of my leisure time to improve further. Consequently, it became ordinary to hear my name, followed by my improving statistics game after game, during the morning announcement. It was not surprising then, that my coach later selected me to participate the annual All-Star swim team meet with three other seniors, which I ended up wining the first place of my assigned event and renewed my record once more.

The skills I had acquired in my country offered me an opportunity to participate varsity-level training, but it was largely ambition and determination that pushed me this far. I finished the swimming season with hundreds of hands clapping and congratulating me for attaining the Most Improved Player award. In fact, swimming not only connected me to a previously unfamiliar world, but it also helped me to develop tenacity and ambition. However, I clearly knew that was not the end. I perceived this accomplishment as a step-stone that may take me to where I want: inter-collegiate swim team meets or even Olympic games.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Nov 14, 2009   #2
allowed me to take part in...

It was not surprising, t hen, that my coach...

Wow, you write very very well. Excellent English. You must have a talent for language... very good, I am so impressed that this is writen by an ESL student.

Now you need to bring your intellectual, academic and professional inspiration into this. At the start of the essay, mention the duel process of improving swimming and English. Also mention the natural unfolding of a process of reaching your academic goals.

The essay should merge English, swimming, and your academic/professional goals. Can you add a few sentences about your plan as a scholar/professional?


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