There is a Quaker saying: ''Let your life speak.'' Describe the environment in which you were raised--your family, home, neighborhood or community--and how it influenced the person you are today. (200-250 words)
Earth is big but if you look closely you can see the details.
Now look closely to the globe, go a bit right than the usual,come back left a bit.
Closer,Closer now you can see the Turkey, my home. Squint your eyes a bit focus on the middle ,not get distracted by Istanbul,see the Ankara,then my apartment.
So far you must have seen the Turk part,thinking different than you do, but knowing all about you. Now it's time to go inside,zooming won't work from now on, you have to ring the bell.
Ding-Dong!
There you go, my father opens the door with his oily hands from the "börek" he's been cooking. At first sight, He doesn't likes you, asking for his little daughter,but he skeptically invites you in.
You see my sister watching an old movie,in the living room. It is a suprise that i am not with her fighting over the filming details with much fervor, anyway she switches it to a fashion channel.
Then my mother, passes by you hurriedly with her laptop, giving you a welcoming look,she must quickly send her work mail and go back to cleaning the windows.
You are just curious now, you want to meet with me; The girl who is shaped with her sisters' vicarious guiding,her father's foods, and a girl who owes it to her mother to work harder.
You spot my room's door,and walk rapidly to it , cracking it stealthily: it's me! giving a chimerical award acceptance speech to my pencil.
No! That's not the way I wanted you to meet me. Let's start again.
comments? Is it plain bad or manageable?
What do you get from it?
I am actually really confused. Is this how the paper is supposed to be written?? The beginning for me was just like full of questions, actually the entire thing was. Umm, I think that your imagery of the world or Earth in the beginning should have been more. Like for me everything is just blurry.
Izel,
I believe you approached this topic from the wrong angle.Your have taken the topic too LITERALLY,and therefore wrote about the geography of your environment.Unfortunately this is not what the prompt demands.From my understanding,the topic is instructing you to write about your background,upbringing and possibly relationships with those around you,and how the experiences emanating form those interactions have influenced the state you are in as a person today.It seems english is not your first language(It's not mine either) so some of your expressions are confusing or meaningless.
e.g."There you go, my father opens the door with his oily hands from the "börek" he's been cooking. At first sight, He doesn't likes you, asking for his little daughter,but he skeptically invites you in. "
Also do away with the unwarranted onomatopoeia i.e."Ding-Dong! "
your work needs massive revision in terms of the use of language and alsoin terms of staying relevant to the question.
good luck::)
