Below is an essay on one of my extracurricular activities
for U of I.
English is my 2nd language, so I really hope you all would want to comment and give lots of advice. thanks thanks thanks =)
Tutorial: Good for All
I have been giving tutorial since Junior High, but it was not until High School that I finally aware of my delight for it. My High School embraces the spirit of being men / women for others and that includes taking responsibility for others' hardships. Hoping to implement the spirit to the newly enrolled students, almost every teacher told us who were preeminent on the subject to help others who encountered difficulties. Some teachers even form groups within a class of about 3 students; I was chosen as the leader (tutor, known as Angelus). To be honest, I was not all excited about it as I was as well struggling to keep up with the new school's pace. My first impression began to change as I went on with it; I even discovered it as a new way of learning.
Giving tutors turned out to be intriguing; it is far more than just a one way communication of ideas. My friends would sometimes ask me about questions I have never solved before, or make me ponder about subjects I initially thought I had understood; we, instead of I, contribute our ideas, thoughts, and inquiries to the discussion and would often come out with better and sometimes rather groundbreaking understanding. This is the main quality I love in giving tutorial; it enhances the whole community.
I am still doing this tutorial practice, but with different and more accommodating group. I offer tutorial for everyone who wants to join or is having difficulty keeping up with certain subjects. They would come to my house, or I would go to school to meet them there, either way is just fine because this is what I love to do. And of course, I intend to continue with this practice later at the University.
Thanks for critiquing mine!
My only suggestions are: Don't capitalize junior high or high school and at the end put the full name of the university and maybe what you want to study there.
Otherwise I think it's great, your English is very good!
Ok,, I see..
thanks for commenting on mine too =)
i think it's a good experience...
good English....
and thanks for introducing me this website... =)
Thanks Ryan =)
glad u finally joined..
I have been tutoring since Junior High, but it was not until High School that I finally became aware of my delight for it.
I agree, no capitalization necessary: My high school embraces ...
Giving tutors turned out to be intriguing------I think you should call it tutoring instead of "giving tutors."
I offer tutoring for everyone who wants to join or is having difficulty keeping up with certain subjects.
They would come to my house, or I would go to school to meet them there; either way is just fine, because this is what I love to do.
:-) this is impressive! If you are a tutor, you must be a good student.
Thank you for checking out my essay =)
appreciate it! =)
we, instead of I, contribute our ideas, thoughts, and inquiries to the discussion and would often come out with better and sometimes rather groundbreaking understanding.
I think the word "contribute" needs the word would before it, or it can be contributed to make the verb tenses agree.
Thank you=)
I think I would go with adding 'would'.
