Hi There, I would appreciate any feedback you can provide on my short answer essay!
The prompt is:
What intrigues you? Tell us about one work of art, scientific achievement, piece of literature, method of communication, or place in the world (a film, book, performance, website, event, location, etc.), and explain its significance to you.
As demonstrated by the 30,000 year-old Chauvet Cave paintings, humans have always exhibited an innate desire to communicate with each other. Over the course of history we have refined our techniques and moved from papyrus to telegrams to e-mail. The Information Age gave rise to rapid communication which is best demonstrated by global use of Twitter. This powerful tool gives voice to millions behind the Great Firewall of China, helped spark the Arab Spring, and allows anyone with a five dollar cellphone to communicate with their favorite celebrity. Twitter has not only changed the way I communicate, it has also changed the way the world communicates.
Twitter has enabled me to develop and explore a wide range of passions and interests. Through Twitter I have communicated with @ElonMusk and learned about his clean energy initiatives, I have gained insight into the struggles of Syrian rebels, and I have learned about astrobiology from a Serbian astrophysicist. Of course all of this pales in comparison to my communication with my favorite soccer players! In a recent 60 Minutes interview, Jack Dorsey, the founder of Twitter, spoke at length about his thoughts and rationale for creating Twitter. Mr. Dorsey stressed the importance of developing instantaneous mass communication for the world. Twitter has allowed me to tap into this burgeoning network and has truly changed the way I interact with the world around me. Follow me @d*******dee22!!
Please let me know what you think guys, any and all feedback / criticism is welcome! (There is a 1,500 character limit and I am currently at 1,469)
Thanks a bunch.
CherryPac18
hey thanks for the feedback, twitter does not directly have to do with my major, but i think the first essay which asks about your academic interests is more focused on that.
I chose to use twitter because it allows me to further explore my interests (which are mentioned in the first essay) and also it addresses the prompt which asks about a "method of communication" which Twitter certainly is.
I'll take a look at your essay as well.
Thanks again
