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'I have two parents' - MIT - challenge or even that didn't go as planned


hartmantc 1 / 2  
Dec 27, 2011   #1
Hello, I just wanted to make sure that the humorous tone I was going for in this essay came through to everyone, and not just in my head. The prompt is "Tell us about the most significant challenge you've faced or something important that didn't go according to plan. How did you manage the situation?(*) (200-250 words)" Please feel free to let me know of any further edits you would make! Thanks!

I have two parents. I come from a loving home. I have never lost someone close to me. I do not come from a rough and tumble community where it is unheard of to exceed. I will not be the first in my family to attend college. My parents have never had to choose between food or electricity. To put it lightly, I have not had a hard life. I don't have a story to tell deserving of a feature film. To be brutally honest, this essay has proven to be one of the harder things I have dealt with in my life. To manage such a situation I have had to be brutally honest with the fact that I have lived a sheltered and trouble-free North Michigan childhood.

I struggled with the depression of not being able to find a topic to write about for weeks on end, but eventually I had to pull myself together and put it behind me. In fact, I don't even know how I got some of the days where I couldn't get it off of my mind. The classic symptoms were all there, loosing sleep, lack of appetite, and loss of interest. After getting the worlds down on paper and putting that dark time behind me, I have been able to appreciate how truly lucky I have been to have a life without any such tumultuous events.
ZhoeK 5 / 173  
Dec 27, 2011   #2
Andrew

I struggled with the depression of not being able to find a topic to write about for weeks on end, but eventually I had to pull myself together and put it behind me. In fact, I don't even know how I got some of the days where I couldn't get it off of my mind.(very ambiguous/confusing) The classic symptoms were all there, loosing sleep, lack of appetite, and loss of interest. After getting the worl ds down on paper and putting that dark time behind me, I have been able to appreciate how truly lucky I have been to have a life without any such tumultuous(content is off) events.

Nicely done! I am not sure if it will be received positively by the admins, but I found the 'humour' rather refreshing. It kind of sounds snide/mocking, but I think the end clarifies that. I hope the humour works in your case.

Hope this helps!
OP hartmantc 1 / 2  
Dec 27, 2011   #3
Do you think possibly lightening it up would make it sound less mocking? Like not completely making it a parody of someone dealing with depression?
ZhoeK 5 / 173  
Dec 27, 2011   #4
Yes I most certainly do.

Also, can't believe I missed these typos/
losing sleep & words where you have worlds.


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