What qualities or unique characteristics do you possess that would allow you to contribute to the university community?
With Florida A&M University's 13,000+ student population, no two people are the same. Each individual may share one school but all have distinctive characteristics. Qualities that I possess allow me to contribute to the university in a positive way. Diligence is one of the strongest academic characteristic that I possess. Since both of my parents did not attend college, I was always taught to do my best at everything I do and to aim for the top because college is the best way to be successful in life. Seeing what my parents have and what they did not have encouraged me to strive for a better life. As well as diligence, my personality will allow me to contribute to Florida A&M University's community. I savor getting involved with the university's organizations and events. I love the feeling of a family, and I look forward to having the Florida A&M University community be my family.
What's the length requirement on this?
The requirement: can't be more than 300 words.
This is a good start, BUT...
Almost every college student is diligent. How are YOU different from every other kid? How will YOU be different from EVERY other FAMU student?
How do YOU define success?
In other words, despite having acknowledged that "no two people are the same," the way you've defined yourself defines lots of other students.
PS I think it's awesome that you're seeking to become a first-generation college student! You might not realize how unusual that is.
(That might be a hint as to what to add to your essay.)
First, your word limit is small, so take out the first three sentences; you don't have room for unnecessary introductions. Secondly, you can basically narrow your essay to saying, "I am diligent. I am also empathetic. I will be able to contribute to Florida A&M." You should be saying, "I am diligent. Here's how you know I'm diligent... Here is how my diligence will contribute to a specific part of Florida A&M." You do a good job naming the traits and defining them. But you don't write about what extracurriculars, classes, career aspirations, examples, etc. show us that you have the traits. You also don't explain how you will contribute to the university. Do some research on the college and be able to name specific clubs or courses where you will use your traits to shine.
