Hi people, I would appreciate some feedback from you guys? This is my personal statement essay for application to University.
Please help me, thank you so much!
Discuss the disappointments, failure, or risks in your life so far and your responses to them.
It would be more appropriate to discuss about the time when I was disappointed that I did not win a competition, but today, I feel like taking a risk. Today, I would like to write about how I had been disappointed a couple of times due to my expectations of people.
I'd reckon you could relate to this, because as humans, we all have a certain level of expectation for others, so it definitely is a bummer when you are let down. I should have approached this better from the beginning, but I took my disappointment pretty badly, and it came with a snowball effect. From holding grudges, it morphed into a concoction of jadedness and bitter resentment, and eventually it evolved into a high wall surrounding me. I was very upset and confused that the people I loved being around once were now just a hazy memory. However, when I came across a quote by Jodi Picoult, it struck me.
"There are two ways to be happy: improve your reality or lower your expectations."
I had been disappointed by others, but most of all, I was disappointed in myself for not realizing that I should appreciate people for who they were, even with their shortcomings. Based on the quote mentioned, the main key to everything was acceptance. Instead of holding on to my anger, I now know that I should come with an open mind, and I shouldn't put others on a pedestal. It also made me reflect on myself, whether my expectations of others were adjacent to what I expected of myself. It definitely was not a piece of cake trying to change my mindset and to learn to accept things even if it failed, but with concise effort and reminder, I have become a more receptive person. In failure and disappointment, we learn to overcome it, and to appreciate these lessons in disguise to grow stronger as an individual.
It would be more appropriate to discuss about the time when I was disappointed that I did not win a competition, but today, I feel like taking a risk. Today, I would like to write about how I had been disappointed a couple of times due to my expectations of people.
Let's have a look at your prompt;
Discuss the disappointments, failure, or risks in your life so far and your responses to them.
I feel this suggests that you need to be more specific when talking about your disappointment. Tell what made you disappointed and how you responded to it. And then how that experience helped you grow as a person. I think you need to be more specific when dealing with this task and elaborate more on your personal experience, efforts to overcome or face the challenge and then the lessons learned.
