This is the optional essay for William and Mary...I've revised it a bunch of times, but any extra revisions are always always appreciated!!!
Thank you!!!!
PROMPT: "Beyond your impressive academic credentials and extracurricular accomplishments, what else makes you unique and colorful? Provide us with some limited measure of your personality. We know that nobody fits neatly into 500 words or less, but you can provide us with some suggestion of The Type of Person You Are. Anything goes! Inspire us, impress us or just make us laugh. Think of this optional opportunity as Show and Tell by proxy and with an attitude."
All people are all unique and colorful, no two are the same - not even identical twins. So no matter how boring, no matter how dull, everyone has something that makes him or her different. What you're asking is, "In 500 words, what makes Brenna Curti unique?" Well, what does make me unique? This is an optional essay, and here I am doing it. Any opportunity is optional, but I jump at any opportunity that may broaden me as a person. What makes me unique is that my definition of the word optional has a meaning far from Webster's; in my dictionary, optional is synonymous with absolute.
Plenty of people are offered chances to do this, go here, see that, apply for this, and plenty of people turn all those chances down. Me? I never turn any enriching opportunity down. What makes me most unique is my fearless attitude towards opportunities, new experiences, and life itself. The try-anything-once attitude I have creates something like a vicious circle of uniqueness: Because I seize every opportunity given to me to do more and be more, I am unique, and all of those opportunities allow me to have new experiences that make me even more unique.
The average person turns down optional opportunities out of fear of rejection, or failure, or even embarrassment. Me? Okay sure, I'm afraid of those too, but I never allow those fears to keep me from anything progressive, and that makes me different. I refuse to miss out on a new experience because my fears held me back. I can act silly, put myself out there, and take that risk. But if I fail or get rejected, then so be it; I am the champion of the phrase pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and move on. My zeal and zest for life keep me willing to try any broadening experience once, separating me from my peers.
My outlook on life has allowed me to have many experiences and make many memories I would not have had if I let my fears hold me back. I auditioned for Pittsburgh Musical Theater, ran The Great Race, asked a boy to a school dance, tried out for the Intrepid Club Lacrosse Team, ran three times for Student Council office, participated in a Dance-a-Thon, and applied for the position of School Board Representative. Although most were successful, had I allowed my fears to dictate my actions, I would not have taken half of those optional risks. I take every chance I get to try something new, to meet new people, to reach new heights, and to make more of myself. What makes me unique is that I refuse to let an emotion keep me from doing something I want to do, no matter how optional it is.
The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines optional as, "left to one's choice; not required or mandatory." The Brenna Curti Dictionary often defines the same word as, "compulsory; obligatory; must-be-done." Although Webster's definition is the more commonly accepted version, my definition of optional has taken me places in life I would have otherwise missed entirely. In a little over 500 words, I think this conveys what makes Brenna Curti unique.
The first 2 sentences do not really seem to go with the rest of the essay. They do not seem necessary and they are a little cliche. We are all unique lie snowflakes; everyone already knows that. We are all so unique that uniqueness is nothing unique. I think 2 different sentences at the start would be better.
Now, you establish a theme about your definition of optional; it reminds me of the expression, "Turn your shoulds into musts." I think you do a great job of driving that point home in the conclusion.
Even though it is quite clever to engage their question in this way, I think it most essays it is better not to address the reader as having issued the essay prompt. MOST of the time, you should present the essay as its own brilliant piece of art... without talking directly about the prompt question... But in this essay, I like the way you did it!!
The average person turns down optional opportunities----- this is a little presumptuous, maybe not even true.
Nice job!!
