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What type of work would you like to do once you finish school? Short essay


maiphuong29 1 / 1  
Mar 18, 2015   #1
I am ESL students. Please help me!!! :)

Ever since I was a child, I have dreamt of being a doctor, healing disease and explaining the course of treatment to patients.So science I was little, science is my favorite subject. That's the reason why I think the best place for me is medical field.

During high school, I like to working in biology and chemistry projects. The experience of working on these projects has given me the insightful knowledge into science, which far exceeds what I have learned at school.

...
lynzee22 - / 90 37  
Mar 18, 2015   #2
Hello,
Please see my edits below,

I would like to work in a hospital or in private practice, and can lend a hand in finding new, more effective ways of administering drugs to patients.This should be your first sentence.

So science I was little, science ishas been my favorite subject.

That's the reason why I think the best place for me is the medical field.

During high school, I likedto working inon biology and chemistry projects.

I also developed my patience and diligence, and I gaininged valuable experiences when I gave public speeches about my research

The Medical field is very difficult and requires a tremendous amount of patience and hard-workings.

I I hope that I will be able to meet these challenges, and my dream will come true.

I hope these corrections helped. Your last sentence should be your first sentence. It introduces your main idea for the essay nicely.
Other than these few mistakes that I corrected, it looked really good. I can tell you worked hard on it.
Good luck with medical school!
OP maiphuong29 1 / 1  
Mar 21, 2015   #3
this my correction, please help me :)))

When I was a child, I came to visit my grandmother at hospital in Vietnam and saw doctors and nurses dedicated, enthused with their job although working in a small village, poverty and far city but they always smile and do the best they can. After that, I knew the most precious things of human are have a good health.

So I decided to choose medical field is the best place for me and I use it as a goal to striving, because I would like to work in a hospital or in private practice, and can lend a hand in finding new, more effective ways of administering drugs to patients. I want to help people and share the pain of cancer patients or sympathy relatives of patient when the patient gone.

During high school, I liked working on biology and chemistry projects. The experience of working on these projects has given me the insightful knowledge into science, which far exceeds what I have learned at school. I also developed my patience and diligence, and I gained valuable experiences when I gave public speeches about my research. This opportunity will be a great advantage for my future studies. The Medical field is very difficult and requires a tremendous amount of patience.

Now, medical field is very need a big manpower to discover new cheap medicine. When I graduated, I will get a job, have a place in society, stable source of income and comfortable life with my family. I have dreamt of being a doctor, healing disease and explaining the course of treatment to patients. So science has been my favorite subject.

To bring happiness to my patients, I will try to learn well to make this dream come true


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