Topic A:
Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.
I first heard of astrophysicist and philosopher Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson as I sought big answers during high school. Answers to questions of life and its meaning, the universe, and why things are the way they are today. By providing realistic and unrealistic theories to countless wonders, some of which he simply made up, Dr. Tyson strongly impacted my life and inspired me to explore the essence of life for more than just facts, but for possibilities and dreams.
As director of the Hayden Planetarium and research associate at the American Museum of Natural History, Dr. Tyson travels throughout the United States to colleges and universities giving speeches and lectures that usually focus on the makeup of our universe and the life it contains. In addition, he often reverts back to the reason why humanity, specifically Americans, should care about the cosmos in the first place. By emphasizing the importance of imagining the possibilities of life and humanity, Dr. Tyson has opened my eyes and shown me how a better tomorrow will not come without dreaming of it first.
Having seen the light and truth of Dr. Tyson's words, I found myself being more excited about the future and experiencing more thrill in wandering and discovering. He has influenced me to logically question the universe and opposition, while holding a strong opinion at the same time as not being ignorant. By doing so, he also indirectly taught me how to respectfully hold a debate and have fun at the same time.
Dr. Tyson has proven to me the importance of dreaming and scientific questioning, and how the impact of his influence on my life can be mirrored by other speakers and their audience in order to maintain and expand upon the dreams of America and her citizens. Every person in his audience, including myself, is then able to continue the spread of his influence in order to reach a world with more reason and imagination. Without his inspirations, I could not realize the importance of parts of life that are so powerful yet ethereal.
Thank you in advance for any help!
I think it's great! I would maybe explain more about yourself, what you are going to do in the future based on what you've learned from him
I agree with Megan--more about you.
Try to focus more on yourself. The essay is good though. Try to explain more about how and why he opened your eyes.
Thank you for the input, I had a feeling that was the case. Below is the updated essay. Highlighted in red are the major "about me" additions.
I first heard of astrophysicist and philosopher Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson as I sought big answers during high school. Answers to questions of life and its meaning, the universe, and why things are the way they are today. By providing realistic and unrealistic theories to countless wonders, some of which he simply made up, Dr. Tyson strongly impacted my life and inspired me to explore the essence of life for more than just facts, but for possibilities and dreams.
As director of the Hayden Planetarium and research associate at the American Museum of Natural History, Dr. Tyson travels throughout the United States to colleges and universities giving speeches and lectures that usually focus on the makeup of our universe and the life it contains. In addition, he often reverts back to the reason why humanity, specifically Americans, should care about the cosmos in the first place. By emphasizing the importance of imagining the possibilities of life and humanity, Dr. Tyson has opened my eyes and shown me how a better tomorrow will not come without dreaming of it first. This gives me motivation to conduct research on career paths requiring high education and encourages me to strive for success both today and tomorrow.
Having seen the light and truth of Dr. Tyson's words, I found myself being more excited about the future and experiencing more thrill in wandering and discovering. He has influenced me to logically question the universe and opposition, while holding a strong opinion at the same time as not being ignorant. By doing so, he also indirectly taught me how to respectfully hold a debate and have fun at the same time. I am now able to take his teachings and use them to see all sides of an argument and ensure fairness in my decisions.
Dr. Tyson has proven to me the importance of dreaming and scientific questioning, and how the impact of his influence on my life can be mirrored by other speakers and their audience in order to maintain and expand upon the dreams of America and her citizens. Every person in his audience, including myself, is then able to continue the spread of his influence in order to reach a world with more reason and imagination. Without his inspirations, I could not realize the importance of parts of life that are so powerful yet ethereal. He has taught me to be open about the world, hearing all opinions equally but accepting what I believe is best from the information I'm given. This attribute will surely help me in my aspired career as an athletic trainer by allowing me to research new technology and techniques in the medicine field and providing me the tools to be more approachable and a better communicator.
If there are any more suggestions, please keep them coming! Thanks again.
