UBC - Application essay which define who I am

Tell us about who you are

I like to consider myself as a multi-faceted individual, demonstrating various aspects of my character to different people, which ultimately ties in all together to define who I am.

For instance, my parents would describe me as bold and determined, someone who is not hesitant to speak up their mind and engage in discussions. This was evident through my active participation in numerous community clubs, student council, and Model United Nations conferences.

My closest friends would describe me as mindful and caring; I am the problem solver of the group because of my ability to stay calm and logical, even in the most chaotic times.

Outside of my school community, my employers and co-workers would say that I am hardworking and determined. Being the youngest of my group of co-workers, I have had to work harder to prove myself and keep up with the rest but I was persistent to do so.

Something that I am most proud of is my capacity to adjust to new environments and take on different challenges. As someone who has moved to several different countries throughout my childhood, each with its unique system and culture, I used to find it extremely challenging to socialize with others and fit in, and my mental health was struggling. However, I have gradually worked on myself, personally and academically, and continue to do so by capturing the positive aspects of experiences and pushing myself out of my comfort zone at home, in school, and within the community itself.

Any and all feedback would be greatly appreciated, thank you in advance.

Based on the way that you set up this essay, you should be providing individual examples of these observations that various people have made about you. By providing expanded examples of how you fulfill these character traits as observed by others, you can create a more interesting achievement presentation in the final section of the presentation. Combine all of these traits to explain your proudest achievement. Being able to solidify all of these personalities into the person whom you believe you have become,will allow you to present your proudest and greatest achievement in life that you are most proud of. You have to piece everything together because the essay is too split apart by the different personalities and character traits you have presented. These need to unite into a single presentation towards the end so that the reviewer will get a better idea of who you are as a person and how your life experiences and interactions with others have helped shape you into a possibly good member of their university community.

thank you so much! i appreciate this feedback!