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UBC Personal Profile: Describe an unfamiliar situation & what you have learned dealing with it?

watashiwano 2 / 1  
Jan 4, 2018   #1
Explain how you responded to a problem and/or an unfamiliar situation. What did you do, what was the outcome, and what did you learn from the experience? (200 words)

Thank you!

not being supportive enough

One of the hardest hurdles I have ever overcome is the guilt I felt for not being supportive enough in my father's last days. The numbers were optimistic after his bypass surgery, and I spent hours and hours finishing my artwork and studying for finals, thinking that it would be a better homecoming gift - but he never did come home. After his passing, I spent a year blaming myself, believing that I was alone, and there were even times that I contemplated committing suicide. However, my best friend reminded me that I was dwelling too much on the past. Her words slowly pulled me from darkness, and I realised I had neglected the help of my extended family. That year also taught me to move on, forgive myself and cherish the present since I may lose everything the next second. This incident has notably propelled me to fix my dysfunctional relationship with my mother. I realised that my mother would not always be present, and whatever she did have become the past. This is my opportunity to forgive my mother and amend the regrets I had with my father. Most importantly, I shall not repeat the mistakes I made.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,317 3353  
Jan 5, 2018   #2
@watashiwano this essay is alright in terms of the topic you chose for the discussion. However, the fact that you mention a discussion with your best friend as the motivating factor that helped you overcome this situation is not really effective. You need to expand on that discussion by first, showing your downward spiral, showing when you hit rock bottom, what prompted your friend to take action and finally intervene in your case, then finally, what she said which was memorable and triggered the change in you as a person, friend, and child. Since you only have 200 words with which to do this, you will need to revise the essay presentation so that you can refocus the content in the pivotal moments I indicated, then proceed to explain why she was able to successfully pull you out of the rut. Only then can you proceed to use the lessons that you learned and how you began to repair yourself and your relationship with others.

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