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UBC Personal Profile; provide something about yourself that you are most proud of. Model UN.

help_needed_pls 1 / -  
Nov 23, 2019   #1

Tell us about who you are.

How would your family, friends, and/or members of your community describe you? If possible, please include something about yourself that you are most proud of and why. (maximum 250 words)

Born and raised in (hometown) I have led and lived a simple sheltered life. I am an only child so ever since young I enjoyed company and when the time came for school, I was overjoyed. I was finally going to be able to play with other kids my age, my five year old mind thought. And since then I have grown up to become who I am now, hardworking, sincere, and reliable young woman. Many of my friends see me as being quite funny with a good sense of humor (due my witty comments that make everything a little bit more enjoyable) and independent as I always stand up for myself and I am not afraid to voice my opinions. Both my family and friends also say that I will always give it my best in everything I love and do even if it can be stressful.

Model UN. Ninth grade. I was scared but I wanted to know what this world of formal attire with upperclassmen was all about. I wanted to improve my comfort zone. I started out as a note passer to learn about the process and there, I saw the chairs who regulated the entire debate. I was mesmerized by their capability and confidence. I wanted to be like them. So, for the following MUN I was a delegate. I was nervous to make speeches but I kept going. I became a good public speaker, I went to international conferences, and finally I was able to chair. I'm proud of this most because through my own will and desire I was able to get what I wanted.

(22 words over limit)

plforielts 4 / 11 5  
Nov 23, 2019   #2
Hi there! I was a member of MUN, both event organiser and delegate, too in my home city!
I think improve is not the proper word for comfort zone - maybe "step out of my comfort zone" would be better.
You might need to spend more time to re-organise the sentences in 2nd paragraph so that people could easily follow why MUN changed you and is important to you.

Hope it helps

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