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UBC Personal Profile: Tell us about who you are?

Warisha 4 / 7 3  
Jan 6, 2018   #1
Tell us about who you are? How would your family, friends, and/or members of your community describe you? If possible, please include something about yourself that you are most proud of and why. (maximum 250 words)

Out of all the questions, this is the hardest to answer. How can I tell you who I am when I'm still trying to figure it out myself?

I was raised by Pakistani parents, if you asked them to describe me they would tell you that I am stubborn, hard working, and that I really don't like giving up.

If you asked my friends what is the one thing they like about me, they would tell you how I do not let the paranoia of what other people may think stop me from being me.

I am someone who is passionate about storytelling in any sort of form such as books, movies, and or music.

I fell in love with books and the endless possibilities that come with it because when I was little I was shy, and terrible at making friends. I love reading till this day where I now try to write a world of my own.

When I was six I would not just sing songs but rather create my own. This stayed with me as I got older and although I've come to realize that I can't sing I've come to love writing lyrics, or poems.

I value an open mindset, and having empathy. I love to be constantly learning, expanding my knowledge and satisfying my curiosity. As I keep growing, and learn new things about myself these values won't change and that is also what I am most proud of.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,280 3982  
Jan 6, 2018   #2
Warisha, this is a very uninteresting essay because you practically approached it from a bullets presentation in a question and answer format. You have got to expand on all of the discussions that you are presenting in this essay. Nothing is ever matter of fact in a college application essay. You need to make sure that you inform the reviewer with not only facts but expanded explanation as well. Simply stating a fact doesn't tell him anything about who you are and why you became the way that your parents or friends view you. Liven up the essay. Use an engaging narrative that will show you off as an interesting person with a life that has been actively lived and developed thanks to the influence of the people around you and what you learned from them either because it was a positive influence they had on you or because you wanted to change something about the way that they were trying to influence you in a manner that you did not appreciate. Basically, you need to show the reviewer the various facets of your personality in this interview based upon how you interact with and why you interact with these people in a particular manner. I would omit the storyteller part of this presentation and focus more on the open mindset and empathy aspect because that is something that is more interesting and an important trait that a college student should have.

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