Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 2

UBC- Reading buddy - ONE or TWO activities listed above that are most important to you.

ubcessayhelp 1 / -  
Dec 16, 2019   #1

Tell us more about ONE or TWO activities listed above that are most important to you.

Please explain the role you played and what you learned in the process. You will be asked for a reference who can speak to your response. (maximum 350 words)

This isn't the most interesting story, but I hope you guys could help me iimprove in the areas that I am weak in. Did I make this story too much like a narrative?

Being introverted has always been a part of my identity. I was never the most outgoing, talkative, or open person. I would seldom talk to others because I never thought I was interesting enough. I had always kept to myself. However, my perspective changed when I decided to join the Reading Buddies program.

My reading buddy, Alex, timidly walked beside me as we were seeking a book to read. Never the first to start a conversation, I stayed silent. I realized how incredibly awkward it was for the both of us, so I decided to converse with him. Despite our age gap, I was surprised at how much we had in common. He enjoyed similar games, cherished some of my childhood books, and even had a dying passion for science. The more I opened up to Alex, the more receptive he was to my suggestions. I actively gave him recommendations to improve his reading and comprehension such as asking him to summarize what he read and to ask me about any foreign words. His improvement was multiplying each week. Alex was able to give me an accurate summary by the end of our program.

The next spring, I was given a new buddy, Gary. This time, I made sure that I would not make him feel uncomfortable in any way due to my introversion. I promptly cracked my shell and told him about myself. Gary also slowly opened up. He had different areas of improvement than Alex, so I adjusted my teaching style. Instead of words, Gary seemed to be attracted to visual representations, so we chose books that included pictures that depicted the scene alongside the description. By the end, Gary's mother was so ecstatic that she asked me if I could tutor Gary every week when the program ended. I accepted her offer and Gary eventually told his friends, in which I also tutor currently.

I currently tutor three students. The awkward silence broke me out of my shell and forced me to be more open with the people I meet.

Maria - / 1,099 389  
Dec 16, 2019   #2
Welcome here! I'll provide you with feedback on your writing.

I think that the activity you have chosen is a great one. Your writing is also generally decent. What I suggest to work on is trying to emphasize the second part of the discussion that's being asked from you - what you have learned in the process. While I think that you attempted to address this on the conclusion, I find that you needed to really hammer down this portion. Try to discuss what the implications of you coming out of the shell are. If you are able to do this, it would help the rest of your essay become more meaningful.

Furthermore, try to make the storytelling a bit more concise, considering the fact that you included portions that weren't really essential for building information throughout.

Home / Undergraduate / UBC- Reading buddy - ONE or TWO activities listed above that are most important to you.