This is my first draft for the essay. Please let me know if I atempted the question correctly and if my answer is too general
Tell us about who you are.
How would your family, friends, and/or members of your community describe you? If possible, please include something about yourself that you are most proud of and why.
Most members of my community would describe me as a level headed and flexible individual. My friends have always expressed how I like to take on new challenges and opportunities, and how I like to try to help my community and school. When we do group projects, they usually look to me to take the lead, breakdown the work and express it in a straightforward manner. They know me to be a rational thinker who likes to understand a problem clearly, before attempting it. I am characterized by my ability to innovate, try alternative approaches or construct solutions that often have links between multiple disciplines.
Something I'm especially proud of is the student teacher's assistant program, which I created during my year 12. I had been reading extensively on learning disabilities that past summer, and when I learned that our school had such students integrated into the normal classrooms, I saw it as a chance to support our school's special education department. I acted as the director of this program and was able to efficiently coordinate between the volunteers and faculty. I even encouraged the volunteers to keep tabs on students who particularly had difficulty following the class's pace. I volunteered in a class of my own, division 3C, and lead by example. When my students finally moved to the next grade, I was filled with pride knowing full well that they all did well in their finals without assistance.
(240 words)
Hi @farhanav
Welcome to the Forum and hope my comments help!
Like you describe yourself, your answer is really quite straightforward and easy to follow. Just one thing, in the second paragraph, I've seen your effort in connecting kids with learning disability, volunteers and faculties in the program. However, if word limit allows, would it possible for you to add the specific event/ activity/ line-up you've done in the paragraph so that we could connect how successful it could be?
@plforielts Thank you for your feedback. Ive made a change to the last paragraph -
... volunteers and faculty. I volunteered in a class of my own, division 3C, and lead by example.I sat with my students daily during their mathematics class, and helped them understand what was being taught, often using technology or props. When my students finally ...
- I took out the line about encouraging volunteers in favor of the bolded line. Let me know if this is a better version of this answer.
and lead led by example
knowing full well that they all did well ...
Great work!
