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UChi: Why Chicago? "UChicago Gnaws at Me"


snorlaxative 4 / 17  
Jan 2, 2010   #1
Need feedback! Deadline rapidly approaches!

I would like to say that the University of Chicago gnawed at me, that the thought of attending caused intolerable insomnia, that when I first heard its exalted name I collapsed on my knees in praise of the glorious institution, but... there was no lost sleep, no exaltation, and no nibbling, constant anxiety. Actually, besides the proximity to a large urban environment, nothing "fit the bill" about the University of Chicago when I started my process of college searching. It was not on the East Coast (or any coast for that matter) and the notorious motto of "where fun comes to die" turned the University into a frightening, ominous place.

My mind began to change as the admissions process started. While most other schools demanded strict, cookie cutter essays, Chicago used creative prompts, stressed the ability to think critically, and contribute to deep, intense arguments and discussions. The school's intellectually stimulating environment makes me giddy. I value the importance of learning for gaining knowledge over receiving grades, and the student body that the University of Chicago seeks seems to share that same opinion.

There is a certain romanticism and connotation attached to the University of Chicago that is not apparent at any other institution of higher learning I have researched. While some students champion the likenesses of the Gothic architecture and unique house system of the school to their idealized dream of Harry Potter novels, I find that the University's propensity for cultivating creativity, strong dedication to the liberal arts and a well-rounded education, and access to a large, thriving city its most desirable aspects. I am thrilled that The University of Chicago fosters discovery. As an undecided major, I hope to discover my own niche in Chicago's rigorous and broad Common Core, and pursue a degree in one of Chicago's strong humanities and classics departments, and to join the ranks of the Vonneguts and the Hubbles, the commended University of Chicago alumni whose ideas and teachings explore and shape human perception.

Now that I have opened my eyes to UChicago, I can't stop looking. It is the cool kid in your class that you always wanted to be best friends with, the girl that constantly makes you think "if only." It gnaws at me.
OP snorlaxative 4 / 17  
Jan 2, 2010   #2
This is urgent so I'm bumping!
marycornell 2 / 19  
Jan 2, 2010   #3
It sounds good but a little bit unoriginal. I wouldn't remember this essay that well because it simply just answers the prompt. It is a little bit uncreative.

If I were to tell you to change something, I think your third paragraph is a little hard to digest. Maybe you should dissect it into easier parts?

But I loved your intro and conclusion!

If you have time, could you take a look at mine?

Thanks!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jan 11, 2010   #4
As an undecided major, I hope to discover my own niche in Chicago's rigorous and broad Common Core (no comma necessary here) and pursue a degree in one of Chicago's strong humanities and classics departments. I hope to join the ranks of the Vonneguts and the Hubbles, the commended University of Chicago alumni whose ideas and teachings explore and shape human perception.

Great last line! I think it was a very nteresting beginning, quite different from most essays! However, you are so abstract with your actual reasons for wanting to attend. Can you come up with 1 or 2 concrete reasons this school will be a good place for you to start your career?


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