How does the University of Chicago, as you know it now, satisfy your desire for a particular kind of learning, community, and future? Please address with some specificity your own wishes and how they relate to UChicago?
Following my ACT test in the spring of 2012, college information and letters began to flood in. The first noteworthy was an large poster from UChicago sent to me sometime in June. So when an e-mail was sent to me about an information meeting in St. Paul, I decided to get my parents off my back about "looking at colleges" and spend my Wednesday night downtown. Thank God I did, the entire speech was astounding. I still can't forget the 6'2" James Nondorf. He wore glasses, and spent the better part of the hour sweating like a dog. Frankly I think he was more than aware of that fact. Through the whole thing he had me laughing, but more importantly amazed at what an awesome college the University of Chicago was. I was unaware of how devoted the students were to not just going to college, but actually learning. After the information and tour it seems like there is one common trait amongst the students at UChicago; they want to understand. To me that is huge, because from a young age I've always wanted to know what makes things tick, how things move, what drives people to make decisions. Another impressive characteristic of UChicago was the record it had for getting graduates jobs and then preparing them to succeed at those jobs. A former student, now employed by Target Corp., was there to attest to how easy finding a job after college was thanks in part to UChicago.
My major goals in college are to have a memorable experience, and then find a job that I will enjoy doing. I think if I focus on those two aspects, college will be a blast. I love how every student forgoes their ego to participate in the ridiculous traditions and clubs, such as Scav Hunt and the Zombie Readiness Task Force (I'm ready to join just hearing about them). The UChicago seems to be the best college regarding my personal goals. The campus is beautiful and its students are driven, which I value. When surrounded by success, it is hard for anyone to fail.
As the first part of your essay was about James Nondorf and his speech, it would help that you give it some meat: What was so astounding about the speech (you only mention your laughing.)
Thank God I did, the entire speech was astounding.
Then fast forward, you went on a campus tour and were duly impressed by the students, especially the one at Target. Aside from getting a job, you might want to mention what studies you are attracted to, your academic goals. The final paragraph talks about "memorable experience" - listing only social ones.
