How does the University of Chicago, as you know it now, satisfy your desire for a particular kind of learning, community, and future? Please address with some specificity your own wishes and how they relate to UChicago. (500 words max) Please help with grammar and overall feedback. Thanks! :]
There are few things I truly love in this world and among them, coffee, microscopes, and people. Suffice to say, the University of Chicago has all three. But does not every populated university with a science program and campus cafe offer the same?
Not quite.
My first love: Coffee. Ah, the sweet aroma of a Starbucks Caramel Macchiato. The buttery caramel drizzle, the dash of Espresso Roast, the thirty-two grams of sugar surging through my veins and faithfully increasing my odds of clinical illness. Coffee siphons me away from my midsized suburban home and into big cities where the spirit of adventure shimmers through the air. At UChicago, enchantment equates a forty minute bike ride along the coast of Lake Michigan. The city of Chicago is a bustling metropolis overflowing with cultural, intellectual, and social dynamism. Here lie countless outreach opportunities encouraging me to continue my passion for teaching, ambitious internships promising experience in the "real world", and even art museums to fuel my inner Picasso (not to mention ample coffee shops). It is in this atmosphere of inspirational vitality in which I hope to one day thrive. Coffee is symbolic of adventure and that is exactly what can be found at UChicago.
When not exploring the city, my time and efforts would be loyally devoted to my second love: Microscopes. Microscopes and their ability to make the unseen, well, seen, have always been a source of fascination for me. Led by an elite world-class faculty and encompassing more microscopes than I can dream of, UChicago's Bioengineering program will truly challenge my potential while refining the diagnostic mind of an engineer. I am eager to develop my skills in the Fermilab, surrounded by the latest technologies, and equally excited to use those skills to benefit others through programs such as the Urban Health Initiative. As community service has always been important to me, opportunities around South Side would fuse passion with academic pursuit, allowing me to contribute to meaningful developments while simultaneously bettering myself.
Lastly, I have not abandoned my third love: People. Specifically, weird people. Like myself. I consider meeting new people a hobby and the community at UChicago will positively satisfy this obsession daily. With hundreds of student organizations to choose from, I can freely pursue present passions in music, art, religion, and debate while also sparking countless new interests. UChicago is traditionally untraditional and proudly so. With shenanigans spanning a Scavenger Hunt and Midnight Breakfasts, UChicago guarantees four years without the threat of monotony.
So no, the opportunities found at UChicago are not quite like those of other schools; in fact, they are quite unparalleled. Rivals may advertise coffee shops but they cannot compare to the caffeinated vivacity of The Windy City. Other schools may boast of science programs but none with sight equivalent to that of UChicago. And finally, though every campus retains its fair share of novelty, no other student body can quite compare to the wacky community I hope to join at UChicago.
beautiful, beautiful writing. I have nothing to say, except MAYBE this:
in the Fermilab - why 'the'?
other than that, the essay is great! you have masterfully expounded upon all three of your 'loves', and how their relation to UChicago.
interesting and unique!
through my veins and faithfully increasing my odds of clinical illness. (needs subject-verb agreement) try changing to: through my veins that faithfully increase my odds of clinical illness
also, you might want to consider using semicolons (;) instead of commas b/c "the buttery caramel drizzle", "the dash of espresso", and "the thirty two...clinical illness" are all full sentences. it's up to you
mid-sized
forty-minute
maybe the before opportunities around South Side
it would be great if you could take a look at mine
