Hi! this is my essay for the University of Chicago and I need really honest feedback on this piece please. It's about how I found meditation and I know it is very abstract but please take a look. I will help you out as well. Thanks in advance.
Essay Option 3: Spanish poet Antonio Machado wrote, "Between living and dreaming there is a third thing. Guess it." Give us your guess.
---->"Focus on the space between your fingers," Doc G, my philosophy teacher told me. I closed my eyes, straightened my back, and held my hands forward. When I placed my mind on those gaps as I was told, a compelling force nudged against my skin, and I felt as if I had been absorbed into a ball between my hands. "Whoa! That was cool!" I exclaimed. Doc G nodded and applauded, "Welcome to a new world."
---->Although I had initially gone to the gym seeking refuge from stress, it was serendipity that I had found even a hint of this new world, the graceful art of qigong. Ever since, I have fostered this skill of focusing my mind on anything and becoming immersed in it. The energy (or chi) in my body rushes into my head, clashing with the idealistic fantasies and stressful realities of life, and merges the two antipodal entities together. When this happens, my muscles let go of all tension, my mind becomes light as a feather, and I am able to drift into my imaginations or think crystal clearly if I wish.
---->During my first successful attempt to enter this junction between imagination and reality, I re-discovered myself in Slovenia lazing under a tree. I opened my eyes to face an endless expanse of green, the sunlight filtering through the leaves and illuminating the emerald beauty of the land. "Nothing could feel better than this." I thought. The dream-like escape was ecstatic. Yet I was still conscious of this dream, controlling the medium which I was in.
--->However, when the busyness and stress creeps in, I take a deep breath- it's as if the stress and tension of the day binds to the oxygen molecules like a substrate binds to its enzyme. And when I breathe out, the stress disperses and my mind vaporizes to become light and empty as mist. This is when I do some of my best thinking; AP Biology terms teem brightly in my head before a test and Physics formulas bounce around before my eyes. I owe the equilibrium in my life and the peace that I have found to this simple concept of relaxing and letting the life-force flow into my head.
---->Through meditation, I can freely enter and exit these states in which I am neither living nor dreaming, conscious nor unconscious. It's wonderful to be able to dream whenever I wish and then return to reality. I believe this is the third thing between dreaming and living: meditation and using my chi to envision anything and trail into that vision. It is the relaxed state of mind, the surrendering of everything that lets me drift into the void between consciousness and unconsciousness.
Hey DJ! I actually applied to Uchi as well and spent hoursssss and dayssss writing on this prompt, only to return to the reverse psychology essay. -.- hahaha I had said working was between living and dreaming (working towards your dream) BUTTT I couldn't ever get it to "FEEEL" right and it never felt like moneyyyy! ya know? haha anyways, i like the approach you took. Everything looks grammatically correct, and your ideas are probably unique! The only thing I would remove is the second to last statement that directly states your belief: "I believe this is the third thing between dreaming and living: meditation and using my chi to envision anything and trail into that vision." It is kind of redundant, and it is not needed. If your opinion was ambiguous then I could understand stating it so bluntly, but your point is made clear throughout your essay. Otherwise, great job and best of luck!!! :)))
