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UChicago required question. My body and my mind reside in parallel universes.


whoooops17 1 / 1  
Sep 9, 2017   #1
How does the University of Chicago, as you know it now, satisfy your desire for a particular kind of learning, community, and future? Please address with some specificity your own wishes and how they relate to UChicago.

My body and my mind reside in parallel universes.



My body dwells in a picturesque valley, surrounded by awe inspiring mountains and an unpredictable weather. It lives the life of a girl in an Indian community, an only daughter in a family of 12 people, a lone sister to three elder brothers and a student in one of the best school in Dehradun. From different aspects of my life, I discovered distinct parts of my character. From each I learnt and to each I adapted.

I started participating in various activities, from a young age, Comprehension reading competitions to dance, from art and craft to racing, from cooking to story writing. I'd run around the house, helping the workers in my father's factory, climb trees and make small castles with stones. Often times than not, I would challenge my brothers in a fierce game of wrestling or cricket. Moreover, I have always had a knack for building and making things. That one time, I crafted a swing from rope and as I was swinging, it broke and I banged my head against the floor, loosing consciousness. Sometimes, I can still feel the bump on my head.

My varied interests were adorable and appealing when I was young but became a cause of apprehension for my parents as I grew older. They wanted me to choose a field and purse it, not lack my focus but they didn't understand my thirst for knowledge. I didn't want to spend my life looking at only one side of a polygonal structure.

So my mind built an existence of its own. The bindings of the society that forced my body into a particular frame, could not touch my mind. My body concentrated all of its focus on a particular field, Computer Science but in my parallel universe I learnt Morse code, ASL and ambigram alongside experimenting with the possibility of time travel and contemplating the reality of dinosaurs.

As I prepare myself for college, the thought of leaving home and travelling so far all alone terrifies me but the welcoming and passionate community of UChicago is a great encouragement. Going to Hogwarts is a fantasy of every Harry Potter fan and I have proudly declared UChicago to be my Hogwarts, satisfying my need for a home away from home.

Furthermore, the professors and the intellectually curious society of UChicago engender in me the excitement to study among such a rich population. Even though I hope to major in Computer Science, I also want to study languages and humanities and UChicago offers me the freedom to personalize my own curriculum. One day, I strive to become a part of the Linguistica Program and a dancer in the Rhythmic Bodies In Motion organization, among others. My life has always been a quest to understand myself and how I am unique and UChicago offers me a great opportunity to do so.

Please review this essay and go hard on it. Should I submit this essay or write another one? Am i going in the right direction with this essay? Is it UChicago ready?

Thank you.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4771  
Sep 9, 2017   #2
Gunja, this essay is nowhere near UChicago ready. This is nothing more than a draft essay that is not really directed towards the requirements of the essay. The prompt has a specific requirement. You have to show that you are familiar with the demands that UChicago makes upon its students. That means, discussing the course curriculum of your major and why you were drawn the syllabus as it exists at Uchicago, what program offerings the university provides that fits directly with your interests in this field or your desired training process. Think in terms of building your life as a student and an individual while you are at the university. Based upon what you know of the student community, how do you think you will fare in it? Why would you become an asset to the university? Does the university hold the promise for your future? If so, what promise do you think that is and how do you hope to achieve it as a student at UChicago? The focus of the essay is not you as in a personal statement. It has to focus equally on you and the considerations that you have for choosing this university. The questions I provided you should help you get started on creating a more appropriate new draft. Consider all of the questions provided in the prompt and make sure to tailor your response to those requirements.
OP whoooops17 1 / 1  
Sep 9, 2017   #3
@Holt
Thank you so much. I will start writing a new draft keeping all the things you mentioned in mind!


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