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Uchicago Supplemental Essay: Why Chicago? Portion in need of a honest appraisal.


lotm30923 1 / 25  
Oct 28, 2009   #1
Question 1. How does the University of Chicago, as you know it now, satisfy your desire for a particular kind of learning, community, and future? Please address with some specificity your own wishes and how they relate to Chicago.

"It is nothing short of a miracle that modern methods of instruction have not yet entirely strangled the holy curiosity of inquiry". -Albert Einstein

He speaks to the heart of why this is the place to be.
No, not the core, but rather, the core of the core you see?
The Herculean task of finding new knowledge is common.
But the means by which it does so, is in my mind, uncommon.
Realize the delusory effects of sciolism and complacency,
the fragility on which human knowledge is based,
resulting in requisite humility.
This spirit requires neither signature nor receipt,
But only a passion for curiosity without retreat.
My weakness will lead to drowning in the method that is Moore.
Yet, it is this unusual essence drawing me to the core.
It is timeless and ecumenical;
A foundation for knowledge multitude,
instilling a habit of mind
eschewing intellectual desuetude.
An admiration for academia is imbued,
newfound problems to embark upon, inspiration renewed.
A noble goal, to hold ideas I can truly say are mine,
To question with rigor, while being benign.
What lies ahead in the great unknown?
To intuit, one must delve into that which was behind.
Neglected, overlooked, reviled and loved.
A sine que non for the life of the mind.
A promise of perseverance is proffered.
In turn, a shield for this warrior, protection is offered.
In a valuing society, an interdisciplinary focus manumitting one's mind
from the pervading and troubling foul stench of menticide.
A place not where duty is inscribed in the soul,
alienated from a spirit auctioned off at whim.
The two exist here not at opposing ends of the spectrum,
but as a unified force from within.
This spirit is not defined by any one modus vivendi,
but will at times call for a massive eraser I assume you'll lend me.
Unconventional one must be.
This is the core of the core, don't you see?
A room full of pulsating brains and divergent theories.
The infamous workshop that can make one so weary.
Infinitely spawning coffee could not provide energy,
in deciding the bout between animal spirits and rationality.
Articulate for us they'll ask me,
a model reflecting utility one could be earning,
from a skill imparted not through mandates for success,
but a common love of learning.
Drawing from and contributing to this milieu,
something I intend to do of course,
for after being awed by Samuelson's text,
math and econ must be kept from divorce.
A tradition worth keeping where change is the only constant,
for without the math, economics is quite simply fraudulent.
Nobel Laureates the faculty currently holds six.
No other department has quite such a mix.
Great it would be to meet them and not hurkle
Challenging them a dream, much like squaring the circle.
Inside my head, ideas and questions constantly swirl,
in search of the best tool for understanding the world.
To an omniscient graduate, I might ask, what should I bring?
Bring math and then some or you'll be pushing on a string.
Yes, yes, this I will attempt to arrange.
But first things first, I can barely define a functions domain and range!
And bring with you a passion for discovery he might add.
This I do not fear, for I already have.
See if Einstein was here to persuade me in following his path.
I'd reply, "You really are crazy,
I've never taken physics and have too much trouble in math!
But I've found a special place, one cold and windy.
A place that in many ways reflecting that holy curiosity of inquiry.
What to study then? This I do not know. A bit premature.
Crescat scientia; vita excolatur.

It's a rough draft and I'm applying as a transfer applicant. A bit reluctant to continue on so please do be critical as in the end, it will save me much time. Thank you!
juinette 1 / 5  
Oct 29, 2009   #2
i am not sure if writing a poem is a good idea for college apps. i read somewhere that it is highly frowned upon. i know uchic is a "quirky" school looking for unique writers and unique essays, but i'm not sure a poem would work, especially for a "why uchic" essay, though it could work for their supplementary essays (the one with 5 choices). also, i don't know if it's different for transfers, but the "why uchic" essay is limited to 1-2 paragraphs last time i checked.
OP lotm30923 1 / 25  
Oct 29, 2009   #3
You are right.The credit given for creative risk might not outweigh the disdain for an inability to follow basic instructions. The conditions for transfer admissions are the same as for first-years in that the "Why Chicago" question is limited to two paragraphs. The supplemental essay questions are the only difference for transfers. I might consider either going with the original or using a revised version of this for the supplemental(uncommon) portion, or maybe just starting from scratch again, or maybe just pressing the send button and drinking the night away! Ok, maybe not that last option but I'll definitely give it some more thought.

This was actually a 500-word, two paragraph response in original format but I've since tried to see what might result through a poetic/rhyming template. The normal response was just too serious, even for me. And It's not really a poem under any standard definition since the rhyming schemes are off and the majority of it still reads like an essay. Thank you for the insight!
OP lotm30923 1 / 25  
Nov 1, 2009   #4
"Preaching to the choir", verbose, off-rhythm, childish marketing ploy combined with a feeble attempt at maturity.This is terrible and borders on intellectual fraud, I apologize....But a creative, original piece that implicitly reflects the good themes this writing presents can make for something different altogether...back to step 1.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Nov 3, 2009   #5
Well, obviously you have some mastery of language and rhythm. I disagree with the person that said this was off-rhythm; some people are not sensitive to the same rhythms as other people. And an allegation of "intellectual fraud" raises a question of what fraudulent steps you supposedly took, what false claims or deceptive moves you made. If I accuse someone of intellectual fraud, I should give some evidence instead of relying on fancy, ambiguous terms.

About the poem...this is a bad idea. Their essay prompt calls for a discussion of your specific goals. While I do not agree with the flamboyant criticism this other guy gives, I do agree that you are going to have to write an essay. However, a few lines of poetry at the end might be a nice touch. Also, a few of these lines can be converted into very rhythmic and clever prose. But give concrete examples of your professional goals, and give clear explanations of them.
OP lotm30923 1 / 25  
Nov 4, 2009   #6
Kevin,

The crude response was actually from myself... I was getting bored and worried b/c nobody offered up any comments about the writing itself so I thought an off-the-wall remark might stir up a response....which it did surprisingly...in any case, sorry if it offended your taste for "good criticism", as I know it would have offended mine. Let's just call that guy, my evil alter-ego, the "other Jason" .... from Jorge Luis Borges' Labyrinths...

Thank you for the input. I'll take your sage advice and use this for "additional information" or as a creative writing sample,that is, if it evolves into something better down the road. Last night, I did a brief search on the net and listened to some sonnets (Shakespeare in particular). It has been a long time since I heard or even read poetry (ten years or so since I last read Sonnet XVIII) and I forgot how pleasurable it can be! I think I'll give it a shot here....The rhymes are pretty easy to come by (thanks to free rhyming dictionaries on the net) but the symbolism, irony, and metaphors are what make it really difficult....Which lines in particular do you think have potential for more work?

I've got a huge 5 page essay for the common application that is more like an autobiography that I'm slicing and dicing every day so I'll get that up on here when it's ready...Again, thank you for your comments.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Nov 5, 2009   #7
That is funny about the alter-ego, I didn't notice it was you! I suggest:

but as a unified force acting from within.

or...

but as a unified force from within.

In some places, that rhyming dictionary may have served you poorly... because when you start adjusting what you say to accommodate the rhyme it is no good... like with "hurkle." It seems like you choose what you say based on what rhymes, and that is not the best kind of poetry.
OP lotm30923 1 / 25  
Nov 6, 2009   #8
Haha, yeah don't mind the "other" Jason, he's been through a lot.

I see....you are right about the rhyming. It makes the poem seem disingenuous and somewhat random....I've got to give this more time....and so the work continues... Geez, what is it about Uchicago applications and the propensity to get less and less sleep every night? I've seen this sequence of events before... blood-shot eyes, non-stop coffee, inability to distinguish dreams from reality, disrupted shower/sleep schedule, caring less and less about my current mundane classes, waking up to find my head stuck in a thinker's thesaurus, that odd-smelling drool created by the amalgamation of coffee, cigarettes, and Chinese food...Where's Kant when you need to come up with a twenty-seven syllable German word describing all this....let the games begin!!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Nov 6, 2009   #9
Ha ha, enjoy it!!!


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