UCLA Supplement Essay #1: Extraordinary talent/skill. APYLP participant.

In your application you may have mentioned an extraordinary talent/skill or academic achievement. This may include participation in Junior Olympics, national debate competitions, recognition for musical talent, etc. Please take this opportunity to share with us more detailed information about the level of your achievement, depth of participation, and passion for this particular area.

I never would have expected that being chosen as one of the fifty participants for the Asian Pacific Youth Leadership Project (APYLP) in Sacramento, California, would become a precedent for my life.

APYLP required its applications to complete a rigorous application process. The organization hand-selected fifty students from its hundreds of applicants per year. Applicants were to discuss and elaborate on their academic career, personal ambitions and challenges, and involvement with the community outside of school. For my entire life, I dedicated every ounce of effort into perfecting my role as a student, attempting to be my best to show others I was capable. I devoted hours to this application, hoping for a chance to become a part of this program that would allow its participants to gain knowledge about enduring life as a model minority and overcoming challenges that other individuals tend to throw at people of Asian heritage, like high expectations, negative stereotypes, and condescending attitudes.

While I was at this program, I felt invigorated and passionate about assuming control in my own life. I attended all of the workshops, seminars, speeches, interactive activities, and personal discussions that the organization hosted, listening to an abundance of individuals that faced opposition in their daily lives because they were pursuing an ambition or goal that society regarded unfit for them. Prior to APYLP, my voice was lost in the distance. I was never that individual that stood out from the rest; there was actually never that individual merely because of society's structure. It has become a generation of imitation and being different was looked down upon. I was afraid to come out from the shadows and stand in the spotlight, but APYLP gave me the courage to do so. I have become my own individual, embracing all the characteristics and past experiences that define me because without them, I am merely just another stick in the mud.

Because of APYLP, I have never been more determined and passionate about pursuing a life of authenticity and integrity. From my experiences as an Asian-American, throngs of individuals have surrounded me, criticizing and commenting on my performance not just as a student, but as an individual. Everything I do is under scrutiny because I have been placed into this experiment that society has conducted to categorize me as the "typical Asian," or "dumb Asian." I abhor these stereotypes, expectations, and guidelines that have been created because it prevents progress, something that I strongly advocate for. I don't want to be that regular individual, I want to become an individual. With society placing more and more stereotypes and guidelines on how to thrive in life, more people are succumbing to its detrimental influence.

My immense passion for this program is the reason of why I strive to be different. It gives me the opportunity to show others that they can avoid society's limitations and surpass what was expected of them from the first place. I still am striving to help others find the way that APYLP has helped me uncover

I am at 506 words, with a 600 limit. Please feel free to be as harsh or cruel as you can, UCLA is kinda my dream school and when they sent me this, I was both disappointed and happy.

I don't even know if it answers the prompt...should I create a new essay or something else?

Any help is appreciated, thank you!

consider revising. Not all people regard Asians as minority--at least, don't be that subjective.



This sentence is too long.
I attended all of the workshops, seminars, speeches, interactive activities, and personal discussions that the organization hosted. I listened toan abundance ofmany individualsthatwhofaced oppositionsin their daily lives because they were pursuing an ambition or goal that society regarded unfit for them.



um, consider revising.


The subject is not very clear... what is "it"?


from what I see, you tend to repeat words like "individuals". Try synonyms or other appropriate wording.
Also, no offense, but you seem like you really emphasize this 'racism' thing. Like Asian stereotypes and such. You answer the prompt well until the third paragraph before the Asian thingy comes. I am Asian myself and I found this very... judgmental. You do not have to bash the society, the prompt didn't ask you to do that. Instead, you can try elaborating what did you do after the APYLP has ended. Give some actual proof. Such as, you are better on socializing or you've gotten better in learning at class because you joined the program. And maybe as addition you can explain your plans after you get enrolled into the university. Do you plan to join some clubs regarding Asian culture? and such.

Wish you good luck.

hi, imtruggle
probably beside describing about you and your background
adding kind of your interest and give them evidence what already you doi which related with the requirement is ponder too.
good luck

Well, I like if you rephrase this to present it with better clarity. I had to read it twice to understand what you meant :(


.... If this is a recurrent happening, why not keep it in present tense?
The organization short list fifty students from the hundreds of applications it receives per year.


I dedicated myself to keep perfecting my role as a student