The ugly princess. Common App Essay

THE UGLY PRINCESS:

My hands sketched another one of my fantasy figures above the decimals of an ordinary paper. The figure's beauty overlooked the mare simplicity of what used to be just a piece of paper, was now one of my masterpieces! I looked at the flawless woman I had just engraved and stared at my own reflection in the mirror above. A disfigured, unattractive, marked and repulsive face looked back at me. Oh how I despised it! I despised every single feature of my face that reminded me of reality. I would have preferred to spend countless hours drawing descendents of my imagination that depicted truly what I was from inside, rather than embracing the bitter truth that what nature rewarded me as a face, was nothing more than a prank played by the Creator.

This inferiority complex that slowly engulfed me was not born out of my own desires to attain eternal beauty. Nevertheless, it's roots laid deep within my past. My friend's sarcastic and indirect remarks drenched me off with every bit of self-confidence I was left with. In fact, I do not remember a single day gone by, in my school life, when I wouldn't be let down by such arid remarks. They called me pizza face, ugly duckling and who knows what else behind my back. Instead, I would smile back at them, as if not at all bothered about such comments. I had no choice but swallow in my tears with a bitter look in my eyes.

Nights passed and I spent hours crying in those gloomy days. I was a gifted artist, a creative writer and a talented student. Than what went wrong that pushed me into the abyss of such self-consciousness? I had often heard the saying "looks doesn't matter". However, I was beginning to realize that it held little meaning in reality. If looks didn't define a being, then why had it become a measure of personality among many others?

One day, however, I picked up my pencil and I drew. I drew, everyday, for countless hours. Rendering the lines guided by my imagination and molding the shades with in the depths of my identity. I rediscovered myself through my art, I rediscovered myself through the brush I held, and I rediscovered myself through the figures I drew. What were merely paintings before transformed into masterpieces. Soon the day came that changed everything for me. It was the day I hosted my first public exhibition.

My ears rang with the acclaims and appreciations from art dwellers. They awed at every piece of detail in my creations. They were not only indifferent towards my looks but also fond of the true picture with in me. That day, I felt as if all of my complexes slowly diminished into thin air. . I felt like a butterfly, that evolves out if its cocoon, hiding its inner beauty under its hideous shell. I finally realized that looks don't matter. In fact, there are things that matter more and are appreciated more in this world than physical beauty.

Now, I have evolved into a princess. A princess, who despite being ugly on the outside, wants to mesmerize the world by showing her beauty from inside - An Ugly Princess!

Hi,
Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your essay is so engaging and real. I love your imagery and tone. It actually has something to say to me and I guess to the deans.

The only problem is with a few mechanics. I have been able to point out the following:
friends instead of friend's and the 'looks doesn't matter' mistake.

Thank you for your advice about one of my essays

Wonderful essay!!!
But I think that it would be better if you can rephrase you sentence,"Friends sarcastic and indirect..." in a way like,
" the sarcastic and indirect comments of my friends drenched me off ..."

thank you i will work on that:)

I discovered myself through the brush I held and I discovered myself through the figures I drew- Suggestion, maybe cut out the second "I discover" to avoid people from thinking it is redundant. I know what effect you are trying to create (i like to do the same too), but others might not get it.

They were indifference- They were indifferent

All in all, very nice essay. :) Best of luck

Thank you soooo much!

Fantastic Essay! I really like the idea you had for this essay, was very creative and fun to read :)

I think it's brilliant!!!I just have little corrections of your use of words but it's already amazing!


This should be "pieces",right?


And this should be "the result".


"Friends'"


"an abyss"


The thin air

oh thank you so much ^_^

Really great writing, it really shows your personality.
You should not use masterpiece two times.
do not remember a single day gone by, in my school life, when (first comma is not necessary, I think)
Other than that the progression of idea is really impressing.