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Ugrad DIVE in different culture


taqwa79 1 / -  
Dec 27, 2017   #1

cultural assimilation at UGRAD



UGRAD for me means exploring, engage with new culture, and applying new methods. Simply it is what i'm really passionate about bridging the gaps. coming from small closed society in a region where illiteracy still have deep roots, it has been my dream to melt in society absorb all problems in it as recycle it to motivation power. I am always persistent, self-motivated, calm and optimistic in all situations on the way of achieving my dreams. I believe in humanity. that is why I chose medicine, convinced that medicine a means for serving the community, it gives me the opportunity to do something good to help whoever in need, and it matter as it devolved my sense of empathy towards the surroundings.

Being passionate about diversity gave me the eagerness I need, I wanna achieve more not only on the academic scale but on the social scale too. I like exchange of, experience, ideas and thoughts. This program will polish my social skills and help me achieve my future aspirations, spending a year in land of freedom will improve interpersonal skills and can make me broad perspective approach person. It means one year of exploring new society,culture, politics and education environment sponging all the goodness from different aspects and spread to my community is major aim for me. I love the idea of how this program going to help my community through me. I am active, sociable I take part many volunteering activities, so as an ambassador the headline of my existence will be correcting thoughts and remove barriers on both sides of global which makes me really enthusiastic about the idea of being expected to define my homeland coming from mixed complexes background will help to deliver the most detailed picture of my country, which has rich historical background which is really underestimated, given the opportunity to be in a multi-cultural country will be perfect platform I will try my best to represent all the good blending my own culture and habits, showing the true peaceful picture of majority of the Egyptians contrary to what is thought. I know it was never going to be that easy, I have always been person who enjoy socializing, energetic, enthusiastic, creative and I never gave up.

The ultimate goal is to gain knowledge it will set another milestone to independently travel experience their education system in person will surely bring about a useful change on my educational style. I realize the potential this program offers and I am certain I will take full advantage of it, and as soon as I return I will empower students who dream like I do. The poor education system was not the only obstacle I had to overcome, as female coming from family who suffer greatly from gender discrimination I lacked encourage and help through my way, I worked part-time which lead me to experience the harsh realities, it's not less than a miracle that today I am enrolled in Medical school it shows how hard-working self-motivated and I stood tall against all and it blossomed into a responsibility.and desire to help whoever has a dream
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4770  
Dec 27, 2017   #2
taqwa , your essay has good intentions but is really so difficult to read that half the time, what you wrote doesn't make sense. I am specifically concerned about your opening statement because it sounds like a very bad translation software did the English writing. The whole paragraph needs to be revised by a professional since it is obvious that you do not have enough English vocabulary to use the correct word for what you mean. When you do not use the correct word, you end up with a sentence that does not properly inform the reviewer and instead, leaves him in a state of confusion and wonder as to what you were actually trying to say. If you are transliterating, meaning you are thinking in your native tongue then translating it in the most obvious manner instead of the academic manner, then that will explain why you came up with this very badly developed and written essay.

By the way, this is first and foremost, an academic essay. So the use of slang English words is frowned upon. With that said, the term "wanna" should instead be, "I want to". Writing a formal essay using slang English words is a sign of total disrespect for the reviewer and will be frowned upon. You need to use a program such as Grammarly in order to try and improve the English presentation and punctuation problems that prevent this essay from becoming a useful piece of writing for your application.

I can sense that you have the potential to be a good candidate for this program. The problem is, you cannot express yourself properly in English. Perhaps you can have a friend of yours who is fluent in English help you write this essay. You need to make sure that you express all your thoughts cohesively and coherently in every paragraph. You have not done that at all in this essay for now.

Perhaps it would be best if you try to write a less ambitious essay. One that uses simple English sentences to express yourself. You don't need to be dramatic in the presentation anyway. You just need to be understood. So if you can write more understandable simple English sentences, then you will probably be able to come up with a usable and informative essay.


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